Trader therapy

Trading’s been a bane of my life for several years. I made a lot of sacrifices to get this going and seem to have confronted the harsh truth that perhaps I don’t have what it takes. You know that line from a famous trading book about how it takes surgeons nearly a decade to become qualified and competent, then why should you expect to become profitable instantly? Maybe not a decade but I have tried for a while and all I can say is **** you to that book. When you get stabbed by the market million times you just want to end it all. There is no learning curve in the market. it’s about how you get back up.

The battle is not with the market. It’s with yourself. Drive to understand more always takes a backseat when you bank some profit. You look for a different approach when the current one isn’t working. Ignorance, arrogance and ego when the call is correct. Ultimate truth lies in your ability to see the market as it is. And that starts from seeing yourself without a lie. Market is a place you can learn a life lesson every day.

My understanding has started to transform recently and like it says in the title I just want somebody who is willing to listen. No need to be about trading but at least with someone who understands what I am going through. I won’t be posting trades but maybe my thoughts about how the market behaved, how I performed and my general state of mind. I will probably say how well or poorly I am doing and maybe when I quit the journal I will share the myfxbook account history but for now I just want some friends in what is an excruciatingly lonely endeavor.

[QUOTE=“localhero;675263”]Trading’s been a bane of my life for several years. I made a lot of sacrifices to get this going and seem to have confronted the harsh truth that perhaps I don’t have what it takes. You know that line from a famous trading book about how it takes surgeons nearly a decade to become qualified and competent, then why should you expect to become profitable instantly? Maybe not a decade but I have tried for a while and all I can say is **** you to that book. When you get stabbed by the market million times you just want to end it all. There is no learning curve in the market. it’s about how you get back up. The battle is not with the market. It’s with yourself. Drive to understand more always takes a backseat when you bank some profit. You look for a different approach when the current one isn’t working. Ignorance, arrogance and ego when the call is correct. Ultimate truth lies in your ability to see the market as it is. And that starts from seeing yourself without a lie. Market is a place you can learn a life lesson every day. My understanding has started to transform recently and like it says in the title I just want somebody who is willing to listen. No need to be about trading but at least with someone who understands what I am going through. I won’t be posting trades but maybe my thoughts about how the market behaved, how I performed and my general state of mind. I will probably say how well or poorly I am doing and maybe when I quit the journal I will share the myfxbook account history but for now I just want some friends in what is an excruciatingly lonely endeavor.[/QUOTE]

Hey bud! Nothing like this market to beat you down just when you think you are making progress. Trader psychology is truly the “x factor” that can make or break an account. Self awareness is the first step, having a myfxbook is another great tool to keep you on track.

I’ll be stopping by this thread in the future, feel free to stop by mine too… Going through the same path as you, jotting down ideas and journaling with myfxbook.

Thanks mate. Will visit.

Tuesday 06/01/2015

Trading eurusd only. Wasn’t really looking for a trade when price just slowed down. Entry wasn’t particularly great since it wasn’t pre-empted and more reactive. I did manage to capture 9 pips. Exit could have been pre empted with other correlated markets but I was being dumb, hoping again for more. So instead of 13 points I get 9.

Struggling with sleep a lot. Only traded 3 hours.

What type of leverage have you employed in your trading career?
Do you consider yourself under-funded?

Jake

I feel you. I have been alone in trading most of my life. I am not as hurt as this thread makes you sound, but I empathize. Trading is not the only business that puts people through maddening trials wherein their own nervous system becomes their worst enemy. The famous Turtle experiment was Richard Dennis’s effort to prove that the average Joe can overcome his own biological hurdles and trade profitably. While I think it is possible, for some of us it will not feel that way all they while.

We all could use something like Ed Seykota’s Trading Tribe.

No. I am looking to scalp anyway. But sometimes when you scalp price action correctly you end up on the correct side of a higher time frame move that yields amazing r:r. That one above was basically a 1:1

Ok so- a HUGE component as to why most traders give up in the beginning is because they vastly over-leverage the sh!t out of themselves. I wanted to see if you fell into that camp.

Over-leveraging is bad for the obvious reasons + it ties your capital up. In other words, you’re maxed out holding onto a losing position hoping for it to turn- meanwhile, you’re missing other opportunities in the markets.

Wednesday 07/01/2015

Made mistakes today. First trade not following the rule and second trade not paying attention and misinterpreted the price action. Feel majorly down. I am having serious issue with paying attention. Just get distracted and watch porn, browse youtube of read sh!t on the web.

Will reduce position size down to 1% from 3. Account is flat again.

Thursday 08/01/15

Lost another 10 pips. Not feeling as down I think because the impact on my account was minimal due to 1% position sizing. But the barometer of success should be how well I follow the rules. I will shrink to 0.5 and for every win increase incrementally by 0.5. At least it doesnt make me feel depressed when I lose.

I tried to trade the correct time frame but ended up over doing it and misjudged again.

Two break evens. Will spend all weekend reviewing.

So much better. scaled back position size to 1% but pips gained started improving dramatically. Now at 2% position and account is up 8%.

This is a major development for me. Luck would occasionally tend to push account to positive territory but bring right back down to it’s natural equilibrium. But it’s never clear if the strategy lacks edge or I as the executor of the strategy lacks skill.

Backtesting helped. I think that’s the key. Systematisation that leads to consistency. Even the most complicated strategy can be defined and executed with certain set of rules. Whether I have an edge or not I need to consistently test the system to determine if I should carry on with this rule or not.

While I am cautiously optimistic it’s too early to tell. I got next week off work so I can do more of this.

I agree with all that. By consistently trading a small position size with a solid set of rules based on back testing you should see some positive results. Good luck.

6am. Start of my week off until next monday. Today I will just trade eurusd, run back test while I have some time. Plan is to nail down the rules over the week and expand to other markets.

Feeling good. Yesterday had another amazing trade. Slept through the whole swiss debacle. Woke to find 1 opportunity and went back to bed. Whole account is up 12%. Still trading 2%.