Journal.
It’s been exactly 4 complete years now, since I’ve been on this journey. I’ll tell ya my original plans.
Yep, we’re gonna do this the smart way Mike. Absolutely no way am I going to get into the market until I am completely ready. I mean, what doesn’t make any more sense than to practice on demo, like it’s real, and just make the transition to live. Doing nothing different. Having the proof evident. Seeing it work. And only continuing the same method live. Then build the capital needed. Then move into the business full time. As time progressed, adjustments took place. I was kind of smart on not going live until after 3 complete years of practicing. As you can read in the beginning of this journal, the plan was…3 yrs practice. 2 years capital building. If all of the monthly goals met, then go time. Business up on running, full time.
Nope.
Once again, adjustments take place.
So, what happened this year? The first year going live. The first year of the capital building stage.
Well, it’s all here in the Journal. But in summary, looks like this. Basically, I doubled the (1K) account. I made it up to 2k. Then crashed it. Put in another 1K. Then crashed that one also. This all took place in the first 6 months. By July I was done. That’s when I swore I would not get back into the market until I am ready. Boy was I tired of just throwing away $ to the market. Let’s face it. I’m not ready.
I walked through the wilderness, trying to figure out my way. Surely I’m not questioning whether this is for me or not, but only of the question…HOW?
When I think about it, of all what happened, this is what took place. The way that I thought was right, the way I figured that this would work, didn’t. The walls came down. Everything I built came down. It was my way. I don’t know…I thought I could do it. Everybody should have their own particular way, right? But this is what I mean by the walls coming down. See, I started out (3 yrs ago) with the idea that all I need to do is document, track, and record the way each currency moves. Find these moves and be able to determine where they want to go. Their habits. Whose the strong one down to the weak one. The top 8 currencies. And boy did I put in a lot of hours doing that. The first 2 yrs was on paper. Then I remember learning how to use excel. That was in 2015. But, each and everyday, I had the daily pip movement & % of each currency against one another documented. And on the weekends I tallied the weekly numbers. That took around 6-8 hours, every weekend. It was such a daunting task. But what eventually happened was that after I crashed the account for good, I still kept these records. It was like a security thing for me. Like Linus’ blanket. Without it, I felt lost. I can’t tell you how personal of a thing that was for me. But, that wall came down. I stopped doing that. It was such a game changer. My mental condition was jarred to a great extent. It was only because of my love for the game that kept me in it.
Then, once I got to used to taking that humble pill, I realized that I need to read. I need to learn. From those who know. Now that is the only thing that makes sense. I picked up some very good books. So, it was a combination of being stripped of what I thought was the right way, to honestly learning from experience. And now, since around October, I am being mentored. I fully believe that I have found the right people (Exceptional Trader) to help me become who I want to be. It’s because they are smart. They have always said that they cannot (and won’t) tell me how to trade. They are more interested in developing me personally. They are genuinely good people. Both Terry and Paul, I believe, came from above. And I am so thankful. They do know what it takes to be the exceptional trader that I need to be. It’s evident.
I see myself as underground now. When I look back on this year, what a ride. I see so many mistakes. Probably the biggest mistake would be to put it like this. I had expectations. I had goals. And it was my way. That was the driving force that led to disaster. What is more correct, now because of hindsight, is I need to embrace the process. It’s the slowing down, taking a hard look at all of the different aspects of the business. And what makes more sense than to start out working on the core trader skills. I do see myself thinking more smartly. Leaning more smartly. Having a trading tool box. It’s the things that I really need to be equipped with before I begin embarking on my system. And this is all in conjunction with slowing down, taking my time, and doing things right. Having the walls fall down helped very much also. My walls were: number crunching, goal setting, …how about whatever is the opposite of being objective about something. Bias. Yeah, that’s the word. Boy, it’s pretty tough to be not bias in the market, like rooting for a particular currency. Emotions were pretty prevalent in my mind, I remember.
Look…I’m not going to pretend I’m any kind of smart trader now. Sure, I learned some stuff. But I have so much more learning to go. Experience is the best teacher. Everyone knows that. But, I do know also, that there is definitely some real knowledge that must be acquired. In the market, it does seem like it’s mostly a psychological matter. Man…I so remember back in the beginning, when I did so much reading, that psychology plays a bigger part than actual market knowledge. I think I read something like it’s a 60/40 split. I was very excited to know that because deep down inside of me, I know I am very psychologically minded. I have more control over myself than most. Well, that’s what I think anyway. Who knows. …Who cares…
I need knowledge. And it cannot come from myself. I am going to get it.
Ok. That’s nice.
Where we at now?
Oh, I know. I want to think about what’s gonna happen next year.
2017 is gonna be a good year. This is the plan. By the end of the year I must have 50K in a trading account. Without fail, whatever it takes, this should happen.
Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah…
No.
This is what’s gonna happen.
I have no plans. I am not going to plan. I simply just do not know.
I will concentrate on the process. I’m using the Kaizen process. One step at a time. I will get the most out of every single step of the way. I will chew, and chew, and chew on some more till I get it. Get what? Get whatever I am being taught. I will not deceive myself into thinking I know something, or know the market. I will remember the spanking that I took from the market in 2016. I want to be in control of my trading. That’s what Terry has said. ‘We need to be in control of our trading’.
I do know that come January I will be learning about my trading culture, trading structure, and trading performance. (I have that map posted a few pages back). It’s gonna get interesting now.
It will be a slow process.
I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed…but…I just might be the most determined one though.
It’s gonna be a good year.
Mike