Welcome to the forum, stressed1, and thanks for your comments.
As you have already taught yourself, trading in position sizes large enough to blow up an account is a sure-fire way to become "stressed". Here's a plan for becoming stress-free, instead:
• I suggest you learn the nuts-and-bolts of the forex market in a demo account, trading modestly and conservatively, mimicking the way you will trade later with real money. In other words, if you intend to fund a live account at a later date with, say, $1,000, don't start practicing on a demo account trading multiple standard lots with a funny-money balance of $50,000 or $100,000. Instead, trade your demo account as if it is a $1,000 live account, and use this approach to teach yourself to adopt position sizes, and manage risk, appropriate to the actual live account you intend to open later.
• Then, when you have mastered the nuts-and-bolts -- the concepts, the terminology, the forex math (as Norman calls it), and the mechanics of your trading platform -- then, move on to live trading with a tiny account in which you will trade tiny position sizes, strictly limiting your risk, until you have taught yourself to be consistently profitable.
Tiny position sizes, in this context, means no more than 1:1 or 2:1 actual leverage. And strictly limiting your risk means risking no more than 1% or 2% of your account on any one trade. This is not a way to get rich. It's not even a reliable way to earn beer money. But, it is a way to practice, with real money on the line, until you achieve consistent profitability.
• Once you have achieved consistent profitability, you can begin to increase all the numbers -- deposited funds, position sizes, dollars risked per trade, etc. Along with those larger numbers, will come larger profits and -- inevitably -- larger losses, and you will have to teach yourself to handle the psychological aspects of both.
It's a long learning-curve, and it's definitely not for everyone. But, if trading is your thing, this market can offer you some exciting opportunities. And alleviate that stress.