Emotional AID

Trading Discussion
68

Let me put this way, let’s say your spouse is far away, works, study, who knows, for a while you can handle but loneliness and boredom (both emotions) ultimately win the battle and you begin to suspect, is he or she with someone else? is cheating on me? and so on. Then you find any excuse for cause horrendous confrontations. Ultimately you’ll end up asking for a break up or a divorce. That is with negative emotions. Now let’s go with positive ones. Who does not like to be happy, everyone does, no exception, me included. Small dosis of it is indeed a good thing. Let´s take a recently married coupple, they are so happy that they can say “Your troubbles is what i will not have”, both are so happy and the coupple tend to forget the real problems they are facing when finaly reality bites and soon they discover they have to pay the loan, electricity, and so on. Soon they forget to live and they just become obsesed with money.

Sounds familiar? Self experience. How could it be prevented, not being happy? well, no, being happy but with messure, not forgeting about reality. Emotions with no control are like drugs, in small dosis they are a benefit but tell me about a junkie who ever controlled his or her dosis. Another example, take an educated man, graduated with honors and put him in a situation he did not expectd, the most probably is this man will overcome situation and try to learn from it. After it drag hin into another situation, he might do it well as well. Do it a third time, he might not perform that well, he is fatiged now. And then reprimed him because his poor labor, he will feel like hell, frustrated and will adquire the Sense of Victim and will work just with no passiong, and then you will reprimed him over and over until this guy close his fist and the rest is history. Self Experience, without punching anyone. Both are wrong, both were guided by emotions, the boss who asks a better performance and the employee who ask for a better treatment. Both are emotionaly crippled and miss out the focus and they don’t care about the job anymore. They are crippled, emotionaly cripped.

Regards.

Regards.

69

This to me sounds more like a self esteem issue that leads to an emotional issue, that leads to a relationship issue, that leads to a self esteem issue, that…

Now let’s go with positive ones. Who does not like to be happy, everyone does, no exception, me included. Small dosis of it is indeed a good thing. Let´s take a recently married coupple, they are so happy that they can say “Your troubbles is what i will not have”, both are so happy and the coupple tend to forget the real problems they are facing when finaly reality bites and soon they discover they have to pay the loan, electricity, and so on. Soon they forget to live and they just become obsesed with money.

To me, again, this isn’t an emotional issue. This is just a lack of financial education.

Sounds familiar? Self experience. How could it be prevented, not being happy? well, no, being happy but with messure, not forgeting about reality. Emotions with no control are like drugs, in small dosis they are a benefit but tell me about a junkie who ever controlled his or her dosis. Another example, take an educated man, graduated with honors and put him in a situation he did not expectd, the most probably is this man will overcome situation and try to learn from it. After it drag hin into another situation, he might do it well as well. Do it a third time, he might not perform that well, he is fatiged now. And then reprimed him because his poor labor, he will feel like hell, frustrated and will adquire the Sense of Victim and will work just with no passiong, and then you will reprimed him over and over until this guy close his fist and the rest is history. Self Experience, without punching anyone. Both are wrong, both were guided by emotions, the boss who asks a better performance and the employee who ask for a better treatment. Both are emotionaly crippled and miss out the focus and they don’t care about the job anymore. They are crippled, emotionaly cripped.

Regards.

Regards.

I suspect I missed the point of this. It could be an issue of me not understanding your cultural background when looking at this example. Is it possible for you to explain how this is an issue of uncontrolled emotion?

70

Well as I promissed here is my book of rules. This is an important thing while facing the market but is not the only thing. The sum of habits is what makes a trader run on green points.

Some of you mught not understand my rules because it was made for me.

More or so the rules are:

[ul]
[li][B]Trading is a Serious Bussines[/B]
[/li][/ul]

It is not a Hobby, is a Serious thing, there is money in risk, wether is real or demo.

[B][ul]
[li]Never take anything as certain while trading
[/li][/ul][/B]

It is not necesary to be rigth all the time. Analisys is just a tool to enhance probabilities, nothing more. Loses are a common thing.

[B][ul]
[li]No Impulsive Nor Compulsive Behavior
[/li][/ul]
[/B]

The natural desire to be the best or the desire to get loses back will be catastrofic.

[B][ul]
[li]Positions Close Automatically
[/li][li]
[/li][/ul]
[/B]

Positions will close solely under this circumstances:

Stop Loss

Trailing Stop

Take Profit

Manually only when system indicates a clear entry in the opposite direction.

[B][ul]
[li]Avoid the Exesive use of Tools
[/li][/ul][/B]

Fundamentals are just for reference, they must not make influence while pulling the trigger. They will only determine if it is trending markets or ranking markets.

[B][ul]
[li]Don´t Exceede the maximum Quote of Loss
[/li][/ul][/B]

Maximum two loses per week. If three loses in a row happens, i rest for two weeks and the week later I trade in demo and after i go back with real funds.

The rest talks about entry points and is just not relevant here and it is two pages long.

Regards.

71

Thanks Mr Gone, you and a few other members made me think real hard about my current strategy especially thinking about:

  1. Account conservation
  2. Money Management and
  3. Sensible Risk

And i noticed that if i have trades that open late in the day at about 1500 - 1600 i can get big drawdown on them yet if i changed their take profit to much lower it will close them out sooner at a profit so i have some more thinking to do and time to reasses my strategy

Thanks!!

72

As the the tittle says “Just wait”.

Ok. I was trading on a demo and i had a loss, one single, solitaire, insignificant, responsable and controled loss, but ultimately a loss in paper money, 1,24 USD in fiction money and it felt like it was a million. Had three in a row with real money the unoreal one crippled me. Here I am after 4 years i am still crippled. Well, the reason of it was the simple obsesion with money was replaced for the obsesion of being right. So i was the whole day like a newbie, complaining, trying to change my system and so on. What I did? Just waited, until it fades. Ultimately it faded and now i laugh about it, looked at miself i was an grown up man behaving like a 12 year old boy who has chosen the wrong toy and now is blaming her sister because he did not make a good choise. Buy the way, the last happened for real, i think i was 10 or maybe 11, cannot remember.

The point here is, time to time you will be crippled, no matter how well do you trade. The key of earning in forex is to stay away from the market while you cannot handle emotions until you are in a fighting fit. So that is why I recommend to have a maximum quote of loss and stick to it like it was the uniform you must wear mandatory. So when trading just become sour, trust me, just wait, and market will do the rest.

Regards.

73

i get really angry in losing trades and keep going until i lose my account, it is hard to step away.

74

Well, it happened to all, that is for shure. Just remain faithful, as long you practice risk management and don´t change your plan everyday everything will be OK. You must learn somehow control your emotions, it is not easy i can guarantee you that. This is for the mentaly strongest, becoming mentaly stonger is not an easy thing to do, i still get frustrated time to time. You are not alone.

75

I think i can say i finally understand this thread now !!

I woke up with flu and had that feeling trading today would be bad (baring in mind im only using demo account at the moment).

So testing my new Oanda demo account and i notice its in US time, so got to create a European account later. Plus the two trades i had today would of been profitable but for some reason oanda closed them in negative without it hitting SL or TP.

:frowning:

Not a good day.

Both trades would of given my 10 pips and hit my TP :frowning:

Plus i got a headache, realy bad flu and cr***y day.

Also spent 4 hours wondering why a new EA was not trading… Simple i had not followed onscreen instructions.

I now know if i feel like this not to trade lol !

Any of you guys had a bad day like this lol ?

Yay its 1700 !! home time

And worst after re-ryping all of this just noticed babypips “restore draft typed info” under where im typing…

At least i have The Walking Dead to watch tonight and some other movies

76

Well, don’t blame the broker, it might be in part responsable maybe, broker can manipulate spreads for stop hunting that is true but they cannot manipulate quotes, your postion might legitimaly going againts you but your broker manipulates spreads to close it faster. But ultimately is your fault. Let’s put this way, remember the War of The 6 Days in 1967, Israelians faced 5 fronts conflict including the intrussion of URSS, what they did, start complaining the unfair conditions? NO, they used their inteligence, they where outnumbered for sure, Egyptian AirForce was three times the israeli, but ultimately airplanes are useless on the ground, so, the israeli air force waited or them to be on land and destroyed the entire Egyptian Air Force, that gave the the iniciative but it solely it was not the only thing they did to turn the odds into their favor. As a trader you must seek the best opportunity to aproach the market, just like Israel army in 1967, you are in clear disadvantage but you must use what you have to prevail.

77

True Mr Gone, i feel a little better now (anti-flu pills) and for i was running two versions of the same EA with different magic numbers, i am sure the 2nd version of this EA cancelled the first EA’s trades.

Not sure why, but i remember the same thing happening last week :slight_smile:

I do take full responsibility, don’t get me wrong :slight_smile: So far week testing number 4 :slight_smile:

78

There is a lot of work we must do before we can do some woo hoo earnings here. In the process you must accept all loses as part of the bussines and remain confident, that is the why most traders quit, they cannot stand for continously loosing even if they apply money management. Well, there is a lot of points we need to work on:

Preparation

Emotional Control

Psicological COntrol

MOney Management

Tools of trading

Strategy

and do on, this is my criteria just to give an example. Make your own list as longer the best if you cannot it does not matter, think quickly wich point is your weakest, without hesitation what is the fail point, what is the constant thorn in the eye. MIne, do you know what it is? Emotional, yeah folks, my weakest point is the emotional side, not even in forex, outside it is a problem too. So what is yours, no matter what it is concentrate to overcome it, only that for the moment, dedicate time to learn how to get out of that particular problem, yes is only one, finally when you strenghen that point, another weak point will emerge and it will be easier, but remember is a never ending battle, i can get emotionally prepared by next week but, i might become too confident maybe and the weak point now becomes the lack of commtment of following rules, just to give an example.

What am i doing to concentrate healing my flaw? Well, i’ve programed my phone to give an alert every hour and i practice my breathing excercise, i try to practice even if alarm does not sound so i can win that thing, the point is i try to relax before the thing comes out and relaxation becomes a little useless. That is what i’ll do for today. Tomorrow i’ll see if it keeps working.

Regards.

79

Well folks, as i’ve speaked earlier, i have an emotional jornal, well, it is a pile of notebooks and i’ve decided to make a review. It is amazing how much one can progress in one thing and step back with another one. I’ll talk about the last one.

Reviewing my unreadable writting i’ve discovered that i have forgoten what i used to like the most in forex: analize the markets, that might be the reason for my last loses. And that becomes my second weak point: “The Lack of Principles”, so now i have two weakness to concentrate on but i’ll concentrate first as i’ve said before on my emotional weakness and then i’ll recover my so loved principle of trading.

I was used to study markets unbiased, tring to predict wether if goes up or down, nothing more, pulling the trigger was one more activity that became as a secondary thing when a high probability showed up and i still studied the market unbiased, trying to make my prediction wether if that incurred into a loss. What used to make me happy was the fact that market do as i used to say even if it stoped my position out. Did not know when or where things changed and concentrated away from the markets like having good trades became everything instead of making good studies.

The Bottom Line here is: it is really easy to lose focus, very easy, even after years of trading nothing is a sure thing, the only thing is to alwyas make a review, a self analysis, an unbiased one.

80

Let’s Face it, trading is not easy, it is for the mentally stronger but even the strongest have weak moments onec and again. How many Battles did you think Washington have lost? He managed to have the Continental Army keep on going. The opportunity showed up but he would not risk the left over of the army so he waited the best moments to face the Hessians, he waited till christmass night to surprise them crossing Delaware River, something they did not expect and the rest was history. What did Washington did, complaining about the big loses they were facing? The unfair situation? No, turned the big strength of the enemy against them.

So my big fail: being the victim. Yes, my actual situation is unfair and demoralizing. My wife always asks me for big sums of money, medical expenses, leaving me almost at abandon and with almost no money. Yesterday after one year of asking repeatdly to take a trip the both of us, she answered me badly at the phone, so instead of doing what i used to to, showing all her flaws, i do everything for you, you do nothing for me and that stuff, i’ve just said, she answered me badly “Ok, HAve a Nice day, bye” and hung up the phone. Normally she would start a fight but this time she did not, hours later she called me back saying “Ok let’s go to…”

Sounds familiar? I detoured a little just to show my point, you don’t have to be rude like me but you must have a sound objective and keep fighting/insisting for it. Never give up, step back only for taking impulse. If your situation is really bad, face it, look at the facts, not at what you think it is the cause because is irrelevant, nothing will change what you are in right now. Are you in debts? The why you got into it or how it hurts your feelings are irrelevant, feeling a victim of capitalism will not help. Evaluate the facts, how many debts do you have, how much, wich one is the easiest to pay. Dedicate to pay the easiest one first, destinate a little to investments no matter if that investment pays you only 1% per year, never understimate the power of compounding. I have two investments that i’ve opened to compensate my FX loses, that way i can be a little more tranquil.

If you have a son of a b***** boss, well start working propperly, but if things does not work, ask him more information, what he realy wants, no matter if he yells at you, remember it is not personal, he wants that task done. But ultimately we have a limit and you must confront him, tell him that you are unable to understand what he really wants, show him his failing to ask as you are failing to achieve, the only thing you are asking is a better treat in return of the task you are doing. In my case, with the boss i used to have he was treating me so bad and at the same time i was doing such a poor labor, making mistakes everywhere, i enmend it all but i still had this guy treating me like an animal, ok i´ve said, the data is correct, the result is correct, conclusion this guy knows nothing because that was the truth, i ultimately faced this guy and tell him to stop treating me like that but he took it personaly like i was blaming on him. Well i’ve just limited to do my obligations ignoring him at all, the company is more important than this guy wishes. Just at the very end of the project, this guy was removed away to an another and humiliating area. And yeah, he started to complaing like he was a victim of a conspiration. I’ve learned my leson, i can be the next. So i am affraid of being removed? No, just doing things right in wich way? Stop feeling like a victim.

So, everybody, has their own problems, what is the big different between those who can make it and those who can’t? The fisrt group is mentaly stronger.

81

Good point, if we go through s**t in our personal lives it could unintentionally make us much stronger for forex trading :slight_smile:

82

Yeah, it is not for all to turn adversity into opportunity. When i was a little i was tought to always be affraid. Three years agoo we were facing a posible civil war, we were almost under siege, imagine having thousands of guys wanting you dead because you are caucassian and so on. Well, while most of people were pissing on their pants i was optimistic, what else i could do, i’ve said to myself if i fall appart they will win. they can have my body but not my soul, if world ends tomorrow, something good i will do today. But people said to me, dude you are crazy, don’t you see it is the end? Well if my happyness anoys you, it is your problem, not mine, lately the invaders turned away at the last minute. But it did not solved our situation and become worse, xenophobia is in it’s highest point but i still remain confident that things will change but until it does not happen i will keep on working on my own enviroment where i have control and can set things right. Some of my folks gets angry with with me because of situation, wait a minute, i did not started the conflict, yes we are close to walk with a yellow star on our shoulders but whatever they put me i will go trough it, i am not falling in denial, i am jus using my right to walk tall. Is a sh**** situation but i still remain confident, so guys why don’t you the same for yourselves.

Regards.

83

It’s said that stablishing a trading routing helps. But outside trading one must to be OK to be OK with the markets. And one thing i’ve did not take in consideration is trading is part of my life not backwards. So I’ve decided to stablish an overall routine wich i will try to follow and after a while i’ll let you know how am i doing.

My routine goes like this:

  1. Go to work

  2. Come back and do 5 minutes exercise

  3. Get Shave if it is tuesday or thursday

  4. Take a shower

  5. Analise Technical

  6. Analise Fundamental:
    -Analise Stocks
    -Analise Economic Calendar
    -Analise News

  7. If probabilities are low i record it in my trading journal as a predicition only but if probabilities are high i pull the trigger.

  8. Study German, for now, at least one page of the book.

  9. Just relax activity, like reading, watching TV.

  10. Go to sleep

This routine applies only from Monday till Thursday, weekends i rest and dedicate to reading, studying about trading but not looking at the market at all.

Regards.

84

I think were alike, i have lots of personal issues, family illness and i can’t stop working and can’t quit as alot of people rely on me, so i have alot of pressure and i have had to mentally prepare myself for that, so it has on the plus side prepared me for trading, plus with regards to the routine lol, i have a routine for my normal work, but i was thinking about that, regular breaks, which is what i would need and would help me :slight_smile:

86

Oh yeah!! Something i’ve forgot to mentios in the list above is before start analisis is the self analisis, am i ok? nothing bothers me? and so on and write it down, like the final check before take off.

There is a fine line between honest self analisis and feeling like a victim, just minutes ago i’ve went to my house to take a nap and woke up feeling depresed like nothing have sense an so on, that was not a self analisis and i had to recognice that i was playing the victim. THe good thing is i’ve noticed quickly and acted in consecuence. Now i am used to to a self analisis the whole day just by instinct, identifying all triggers that normally would end up in an emotional rush. People is not used to that, there is nothing more dangerous than an inflicted idea. A clear example? Have you ever had a very bad day at work? Maybe a poor performance by you or someone else that eneded in a non polyte call of attention to you that crippled you. Maybe you should do an analisis on yourself, maybe it is not your fault so why are you feeling bad, if the reprimand was injustified, well, don’t take it personally, if it was take it humblely but not personaly. The final bad feeling is the sum of all small triggers you had from the begining justified or not if you let those small spitings to mature inside you, you will explode in some point. So what i do is to analise myself every moment i remember to do so, practice my breathing exercise, take a 10 seconds break, drink some water, dehidratation is realy bad for you. I fight aganst those negatives feeling before they can get together as a single negative feeling. Never lose the sense of yourself, the hability of knowing yourself, it can esaily be lost in a blink of an eye. That is why most traders don’t do in this profession, i mean not the only why but a BIG WHY.

Regards.

87

had my first day with a profit after years of studying forex, the emotional control is very hard to learn same as learning the technical and fundamental.

i am starting to have patience and wait for trades instead of forcing them to make money fast, it is very hard to watch the money in the market pass me as i am very poor and desperate for money but if i do not wait for right moment i lose my account.

88

I hate it when i used to stick to chart i couldnt take my eyes of the screen in my first trade i have tried to ignore it and follow a rule ive read somewhere “trade and dont watch your trades” well its working Ok i take a position in the market set the SL n TP ready to go have fun…