Thank you all for your input and support.
Yes, I am exhibiting compulsive, addictive behaviour (which is why I have closed my account).
Yes, maybe I am not as disciplined as I tell myself.
Ture, not all people have the tendency to go on tilt (although I would argue it’s a small minority).
Yes, I have read the Disciplined Trader by Mark Douglas, but it was a long time ago, i will revisit it, thanks.
No, I haven’t considered trading demo as I don’t feel I’d experience the true emotions of trading, but maybe it could be good to get back onto an even keel.
Yes, even if I had a limit or circuit breaker, I would probably find a way around it.
We could talk about discipline all day, but for the sake of argument let’s start with the assumption;
"It is not possible for an individual to adhere to money management criteria over **
** the long term."
If that is the case then;
Can I get an external third party to manage my money?
If trading for a firm I imagine there would be a risk department monitoring and cutting positions, a separate department with more objectivity. Can a private trader replicate this environment with their broker or bank?
Would a trading partnership be desirable?
I notice most successful businesses consist of more than one person. Why would the business of trading be any different. Rarely will one person will have all the skills required for succuss. One founder may be more creative while the other more operationally driven. At the very least you would have a partner who understands your business, whose opinion you respect enough to listen to in times of stress. I know investing by committee has its drawbacks too, but consider Soros and Druckenmiller, Buffett and Munger etc, perhaps there is merit in trading in teams. Sometimes 1+1 = 3. Perhaps a supportive spouse of family member would be enough to keep you accountable.
Would a prop firm be desirable?
I have never tried for a funded account, I see people messing around with them for years and I don’t believe the payout stats are great (although probably in line with the general market). But maybe that would be a good form of external governance. The entry tests might be a good way get back on track, and if I ever was to get funded at least I would not be risking my own money.
Why don’t brokers provide more functionality around the issue?
Not in their interests. Happy to peddle the line that you are weak, when in fact you might just be being human.
Anyway, just thinking aloud. Any thoughts appreciated. Just considering the alternatives as I can’t continue the way I have been.