First of all, it is quiet impressive that you are trying to do two challenging tasks at a time and that on its own should be a source of encouragement, support, and motivation for you to keep your head up and keep moving forward in your direction.
The psychology of trading is tricky and I personally believe that most traders failed due to their lack of psychology management just like some of the other users here have mentioned already.
There isn’t a permanent and a defined single solution in my opinion, because your emotions will continue to change based on various scenarios involving your trading choices and also your personal life events. So think about it as an endless scope of emotions that you will be experiencing, because you will continue to face news events personally and professionally.
How can you manage something that is endless and so unpredictable? What helped me is an exact process that is fixed and used regardless of the scenario.
Design a process that consists of steps and follow these steps every single time regardless of the scenario you are facing. In parallel to setting up a process and exact steps, you can set specific consequences to yourself if you fail to follow or decide to skip one of your pre-defined process and steps. For example, let us assume you come out from Military on a Tuesday which means you get to trade on Wednesday. You are excited, you haven’t been trading for a week, you are filled with enthusiasm and energy to make some money. That rush however must be controlled. So you start the day by following the steps you have designed for yourself. In any given situation, if you skip or fail to follow one of your steps you simply assign a consequence to do that. That consequence could be that you will not be allowed to trade next week and therefore you have nothing else to look forward to “professionally” besides military. You will be more careful next time, because you don’t wanna forbid yourself from trading and so on …
This is just a suggestion from my side which has been working for me very well over the last couple of years. Managing to control and manipulate my own psychological and exact state of mind at any given situation has been the main reason behind my success in trading. Of course I didn’t realize all of this overnight. Just like you I have failed many times, before finally putting together a process that has been proven to be working efficiently and effectively.
All the best of luck with your trading.