Hello everyone, I’m Bryan from Italy and I apologize in advance for the wall of text that will follow.
Quick resume: one year i’m into trading, I blew up 3000€ account, I have no confidence anymore in my trades, I keep losing money no matter how much i (try to)manage my risk, I gathered so much information, but i don’t know how to use it properly, that I kind of got lost.
If you want the full story, good luck reading what follows 
It’s a bit more than one year I’m kindly donating my money “to the markets”:
Funny thing is that on my first two months of demoing and the first month with a real account I was doing quite good without even knowing what I was doing (barely any basics, just candlestick charts and instinct).
Got a really bad experience with my first broker, which was discouraging me from using all the healthy behaviours that every beginner (and not just beginners) should have:
-got continuously stopped out? instead of teaching me how to properly use the stop loss they would go “nah, stop loss is for losers, I don’t use it either!”
-since I was unfamiliar with size and risk management i was opening 0,01 positions, sometimes more than one if i was seeing a favourable market (I was already scaling and doing some basic partials without even knowing): "ehy, why don’t you just open a big fat position instead of opening multiple small ones?
-i opened two short position on EU e GU respectively, just because the swap was positive. My broker? “well done dude! smart move!”
-I then started losing money. FOMO, revenge trading, frustration all the bad psychological attitudes you can think of, started forming in me. in the beginning i was sweating because I lost 1€ (on a 500€ account).
My broker “oh, come on, 1€ is nothing!”. then I started building up my account because, you know, more money means more buying power. 1€ became “10 euros is nothing!”, and then “pff 300€? candies!”. I was actually just covering the margin calls.
I blew up that account (3000€ total) by FOMOing NASDAQ: 0,5 short, market reverse, no stop loss, 1200-1300€ lost with that single position.
The rest fell soon afterwards: the two EU and GU positions where around - 400/ -500€ or so, I was hedging like a desperate madman, when I finally closed the buy I had on GU every open position i had had been immediately closed due to margin. from 1500 to 81 in less than a minute.
I didn’t give up, I still try to make my way into trading, but it’s really hard to get confident again.
I followed webinars, youtube channels, tried to get as much free education as possible (at the moment I have money but i’m not working and, honestly I’ve heard of so many scams out there that I’m quite afraid of losing more money just to get more of the same info I already have) but seems to me that the more education i get the dumber i become.
I opened a micro account with a different broker, 100€. I’m at 50€ now. Risk managment is essential. but if you lose more than you win, it’s easy to get the math.
I seem unable to catch good trades, everytime I get in too soon (I try to anticipate) or too late(If i wait for confirmations I’m usually late, and that leads to my anticipation trials).
I know the theory: market is fractal, trend is your friend, candlesticks, support/resistance, supply/demand…I developed some kind of allergy to the words “market structure”, because everybody keeps repeating the same words, but I still don’t know if i can see and use it properly, especially because I can probaly visualize too much the fractality of it all(or, at least, I think that’s the reason) and i never know for “sure” which i should consider as a HH/HL-LH/LL.
If you made it til here thank you for your patience, you got some real guts.