I think you have figured out your own issue, which is you are risking way too much on individual trades. There is no way any strategy in the long term would ever work risking that much. You may have a good trading strategy but you won't know until you can reduce your risk to a much safer level. You are stuck in a bad cycle where now you are just risking big to make up for losses, and by doing so losing even bigger. Sort of like a gambling addiction.
Hit the reset button. Forget about the losses so you don't keep torturing yourself about having to make up for losses, which will cause you to make poor risk management and trade management decisions. When you start fresh stick to a low risk % per trade. Don't ever deviate from it no matter how likely you think the trade will become a winner. Seriously on this, once you set a risk rule don't ever break it or else you are back to gambling again. Pick something really safe like 0.5% - 1%, something you could lose 10-20 times in a row and still be able to recover fairly quickly. Doing it this way you're not going to make 100% overnight, but you also aren't going to lose 100% overnight. What you want is a steadily increasing profit curve without huge draw downs. You will be a better trader for it and might actually start making money in the long term.