Talk to ME :)

Beginner Questions
41

Okay, I said I’ll try to pull this thing off so I apologies in advance if I didn’t…

A discussion came up when I was talking to one of my colleague that in a relationship either married or living together, how they deal with money is …”whatever he earns she keeps and whatever she earns she keeps.” Then I said wait, that doesn’t sounds like fair. Why she keeps all the money but not his. Isn’t it should be combine? Or at least 50/50?

Money fights and money problems are the number one reasons of divorce and one of the highest divorce rate in the US. It is unfortunate that some household do not even talk about money like where they spend the money on, budgeting, or some don’t even know how much he or she makes a year. It is like a big “secrete” that no one talks about it. So when a kid grow up in a household that his/her parents doesn’t talk about money or have a plan how they will save/spend it, the kid when he grows up have a very good chance that he will do the same. Some says women are very good at handling money but some says men are good handling it because they are good with numbers. I think it will be good to have a woman in the household handles money “ONLY” if she is a good saver not a spender. Same thing if a man is a good saver in a household, he should handle money. Though, they should both know or at least be aware what goes in/out in the household and if there is any big ticket item that they want to buy, they should talk about it and have an agreement or at least compromise.

How is this related to trading? It is important that a couple talks about money especially if you are planning to “go live” in trading because you are sick and tired of sick and tired of doing DEMO for a month (lol) and you think you all figure it all out and because your “spread sheet” tells you that you can now makes thousands to millions of dollars…”Look honey, we can be a millionaire soon. I can buy you this Lamborghini that you’ve been eying on for weeks…and drive that around. If anyone ask you where in the world you get the money from to buy that Lambo and what your husband/partner do for a living…just simply says with a smile “he is a one hot Forex trader.”…oh and btw, his wife looks hotter than the female author of the book called “Far from it” :wink:

42

That’s a fair point and if you are successful by taking a ‘bit here and a bit there’ and making it your own then that’s fine. :57: On the other hand, if you’ve given it your best shot and still cannot 'see the wood for the tree’s then it seems to me there’s no harm in looking to a trader who makes a living in this industry.

43

Here’s what I learned in 3 marriages. All three women that I married were my opposite. A friend of mine on my 3rd go around asked “you haven’t learn your lesson yet” I answered yes. He asked “what’s going to make this one any different than the other two?” I said because now I know the secret. Of course he asked what it was and I told him; opposites attract, but to stay together they both have to learn compromise.”

I knew this guy who was a friend of my fathers who told him that he was just shy of being a billionaire. My father asked him was the money worth it. He said when I got married I promised my wife I would never be poor like my mother and father. He then went on too say, I had 5 children, one died of a drug overdose, one worked in my business and embezzled 2 million dollars, one moved to the other side of the country and the two that live in my area don’t speak to me. I live on a 150 acre estate and every night sleep down stairs on a couch while my wife sleeps in another part of the house. I have not seen my grand children for years. He said I’ll let you be a judge.

My wife and I have this deal. If either one is faced with a pimple, we will talk to each other before it turns into a mountain.

44

That is the key…learn to compromise. Relationship is not always perfect and no body is perfect but if they both know how to compromise, it will avoid some of the heartache and headache.

So when your father asked him if the money is worth it, he didn’t really gave a definite answer if it is or is not rather his answer is he was afraid of being poor like his parents. Given the relationship that he has with his family, he probably prioritize on making money more than putting value on the relationship of his family. Money can help people put in into a better life though it should not be base your life and revolved your self around money.

45

Thanks for your offer. You’re right, sometimes it’s really stressful when failures keep on coming. Someone to talk with can indeed help lessen the loads.

46

If we are talking about compromising , i think i have earned the right to say a few thing about it. My wife and i have been married 44 years and counting. There is sooo much to be said, that i am going to let you smart people talk about it.

47

Yes, I’ve been there and I know I will still be facing failures in days/weeks/years ahead however sometimes if you view failure as a " teaching tool" is a little bit better to deal with pschycologically. No doubt, everyone wants to be successful in trading and wants to make money and hoping to be a full time trader as a career but why is it only a handful of people succeeding here? Think for a moment… We have all the information available freely in website, we have free forums like BP, we have those experience traders around who are making money and very generous enough to share their trading strategy and some want to help others. Then why still very few are succeeding if you already have the tools that you need? It could be a lot of reasons behind it. Focus, aptitude, will and determination are some of them are lacking. Sometimes, problems in real life is also a part of it. You can talk to other people with your friends, family, and life partner but if you mention about trading they will be clueless and worse they will discourage you though sometimes you also have to draw a line and decide when to stop and accept the fact that trading is not for you and move on…

48

Married for 44 years?!?! Wow Congratulations!

Well definitely you have all the right to say something here. I am sure we would love to here from you :slight_smile:

Here’s my questions:
1.) How do you compromise? If you have examples feel free to share.
2.). Is it really true that money is the number one cause of fights?
3.) Do you still go on dates? Or you just stay home and make mc and cheese for dinners ? Lol

Any advice of what is/ are the keys of a successful marriage :slight_smile:

49

I don’t know about tony44 but have you have had a conversation with someone married, lived together whatever and they say; “Wow I was completely blindsided no one saw that comming.” I always laugh and say BS, really? No body in any kind of longer term relationship is blindsided, they only think they are. Blindsided is when you go out with someone and you think wow this is great and the other person says ya I really had a great time and I can wait to see you again and they never hear from the person again. Longer term starts with a small crack in the relation ship and it grows and grows, until one day the person who is not aware of what’s been going on because, of money, job, whatever says good morning honey and the other one shouts back FU! I don’t have to take that from you, I’m leaving. The one who caused the crack in the first place and allowed it to grow is always the one that’s blind sided.

Have you ever heard someone say to someone stay away man, she/he is married, living with someone, in a solid happy relationship. I had a friend when someone said that to him, he would always come back with if he/she is so happy what are they doing in this place talking to me, especially when they know I’m trying to pick them up. If they were really happy they wouldn’t be hear getting talked in to going with me.

50

Is it the reason why man pull away because of jobs, money , etc. and didn’t communicate that with the woman he was seeing? Ohh I heard all about it… After a great night ( date) and it seems they both like each other but the guy never showed up or call or text her back again. She was waiting for a phone call or a text from that guy but never heard from him. So when finally showed up she was already upset and the "crack " that was already build in even a band aid can’t never cover it…

Man and woman have a different way how they perceive things. Maybe he/ she is just friendly and that he/ she is actually happily married/ with partner/ or single. When a man approach by a woman and they seems to get along in a relationship ( whatever that be) or not she probably wants someone to just listen to her venting. She just maybe wants to voice her problems but that’s about it…man when hear problems they want to fix it…they like to fix things. Women just vent because that’s how they like it but don’t fix it … I know it’s confusing but that’s how it is sometimes lol…

51

You are probably wondering what this thread really about? To tell you the truth, I don’t really know of what I want to accomplish on here…However, I do know that I think a lot lol… I have so many in my mind that it is almost about to explode! I usually write in my journal or I should say “talking” to my journal but there is no feedback like what I am getting on here… so I thank everyone who are participating on this thread or who are reading this. Truthfully, I have learn from you more than you ever known. There are so many things to know that I don’t know about…but I can always pretend that I know them all and so far it seems to be working :wink: lol…

If we are serious about trading or being a successful traders, we should practice trading as part or away of life. We are all came from different walks of life and we have different views how we see things… It is very interesting to know that some have a similar views/values as you and I have and some do not but in the end we are here to make money and wanting to be successful in life in general. Real life experiences is what I am interest in. I’ve read so many books but there is nothing to compare to it when you talk to people who have been there and done that…

The subject/ topics that I post on here are what comes to my mind and it could be random but it is all towards how to be a better person. I will always point out that money by itself won’t make you happy… Money helps ease some of the obvious problems but to become a better person with money is what I am trying to aim for and hopefully you too…

1 Like
52

Well, what has worked for us is, we try to keep things in balance. We all know that balance is one of the keys of life. example, we know what buttons not to push, if for some reason i do push one of them, my wife is smart enough to back off as not to ad fuel to the fire, even though she might be 100 % in the right. Money is the number one cause of fights for those people that have an unrealistic exceptions of life. Every week we make it a point to go out have dinner and see a movie that we both want to see. This Saturday we went and saw," We’re the miller’s"and went to dinner. So that is the reason i trade, to enjoy life with any $$ i make with my partner. Life is a journey, it take allot of turn, we can only make the best we can of it.

53

So what I have learn from [B]gp00053[/B] and [B]tonyro44[/B] in regards to a successful marriages are:

1.) Learn to compromise.
2.) Do not be blindsided. If possible, resolved the small problem before it grows (but is it a lack of communication that causes it? Sorry, just thinking out loud)
3.) Keep things in balance.
4.) Have a realistic expectation about money.
5.) Life is a journey. Live life to the best as you can be.
6.) Oh… and still go on dates/dinner forget about the Mac and cheeses and leftovers at home…okay, got it…

Thank you!

54

I came across with this article and it is a very interesting read. I put a short comments/note into some of it…enjoy…

[B]The 10 Habits of Self-Made Millionaires[/B]
by David E. Weliver

What does it take to become a millionaire? Lottery winners aside, becoming wealthy has nothing to do with luck. Let’s look at 10 ten habits of self-made millionaires. Some ideas featured here are from the book The Millionaire in You by Michael LeBoeuf. Others come from millionaires I know, and they are living proof that these habits will make you millions.

[B]1. Millionaires Are Frugal:[/B] The wealthiest people I know are also the cheapest. They buy used cars for reliability, not image. (According to the book The Millionaire Next Door, the number one car brand among millionaires is Toyota—not Mercedes or BMW!) Millionaires pack their lunches. It takes money to make money, and you can’t get the money you need to invest if you spend it.
([B]Note[/B]: [I]wait, what about the Lamborghini doesn’t count? Hmm…so whoever drives a Lambo is not a real millionaire? Shakes head shame…totally a shame…well I guess it truly is they are far from it…~PNR)[/I]

[B]2. Millionaires Think Big:[/B] Few people are surprised when they make their first million. After all, it doesn’t come easily. But long before reaching their goal, millionaires know they want to get there. Rather than looking forward to an annual 3% raise, millionaires dream of working for themselves. Rather than serving 100 customers, millionaires see tens of thousands of accounts.

[B]3. Millionaires Take Calculated Risks:[/B] Whether it’s investing in a stock or cashing in a 401(k) to start a business, millionaires take calculated risks. In these risks, the rewards of success are far greater than the costs of failure, and the chances of success are good.

[B]4. Millionaires Network:[/B] Few people reach their potential alone. Millionaires build powerful networks of contacts in all areas of life. Millionaires know that their next employer, customer, or partner may be anywhere.
([B]Note:[/B] [I]Does BabyPips site count?~PNR[/I])

[B]5. Millionaires Don’t Pay Interest, They Earn It:[/B] Millionaires learn the crippling costs of debt and avoid it at all cost ([B]Note[/B]: [I]see what I mean about Debt? Check out my other post in regards to this. ~PNR[/I]). On the contrary, millionaires save, invest, and even lend money to others to earn interest themselves.

[B]6. Millionaires Are Focused[/B]: Millionaires work feverishly towards their goals at all costs. The difference between dreamers and performers is not the number of ideas one has, but how one focuses on executing the best ideas.

[B]7. Millionaires Do Whatever It Takes:[/B] The most inspiring success stories among all the people I know involve incredible sacrifice. From sleeping in cars between two jobs to forgoing personal relationships to get an education or build a business, millionaires don’t simply delay gratification; millionaires endure pain.
([B]Note:[/B] [I]Love to hear these future success stories… it truly is that sometimes failure means success. ~PNR[/I])

[B]8. Millionaires Educate Themselves:[/B] It doesn’t take an Ivy League education to become a millionaire, but it does take a desire to learn. It doesn’t matter how you learn – from a mentor, night classes, or books and the web – but ongoing learning is critical to lifelong success.
([B]Note:[/B] [I]Learn to adapt. When the Market and Technologies change … you change ~PNR[/I])

[B]9. Millionaires Lead:[/B] No surprise here, the same qualities enabling people to earn millions make them natural leaders. It goes back to the decision to become a millionaire in the first place: The resolution to carve a new path rather than follow the flock.
([B]Note:[/B] …[I]and those who knows how to think and decide independently. It is crucial specially in trading ~PNR[/I])

[B]10. Millionaires Are Generous: [/B]Don’t expect your high-rolling neighbor to shower you with gifts. Chances are she’s donating to far worthier causes. It’s just another perk of having a million in the bank: you get to make a substantial difference in charities of your choice.

1 Like
55

I know…I know… for all of those who have been around the block on here in BP for a while have had this discussion before (and yes, I did my research on here just in case you ask :wink: ).

So for the sake of having an opinion, do we all agree that MAJORITY of [B]successful and good traders are MADE[/B]? Agreed?.. Good because if not, I have never seen an infant or a toddler who starts trading at the young age (except maybe from the commercial called ETrade or Ameritrade something like that). If there were born as successful traders then good for them.

To those who are new to forex business and/or you are still struggling, asked yourself with these 3 important questions…(Note: I call it a Business not a Gambling because I do not gamble. I know we have quite a few threads about it so this is what I think and I am sticking to it :slight_smile: )
~ Do you have what it takes to be successful?
~ Do you have the qualities required to be successful?
~ Can you develop the personality traits needed to make money consistently?

Try to answer these questions for a moment… These will help you to think about before you devote your most precious time on Earth. If successful or good traders are made, what are the characteristics or traits to be one?

[B]1.) Hard work and self-discipline [/B]– Those who just wannabe traders they don’t want to be traders, they want to make money with as little effort as possible (ehem… trading signals with a big “Z” on it… take a guess). Trading is so easy… you just need to push button buy/sell and you will earn loads of money in return for little work. Hopefully, this is not you. There is no holy grail, no getting rich quick either. Success is a by-product of hard work. Be prepared to put in a lot of hours required to learn how technical tools work and or fundamentals or even mechanical (if you know how to use it). A meticulously laid out trading plan doesn’t work if you do not have self-discipline. If you are discipline with other areas of life, tried to apply those in your trading.

[B]2.) Keeping Your Emotions in Check [/B]– Good traders do not allow their emotions to be manipulated by the market and always trade according to some kind of plan. Fear and Greed are always there every time you are in a trade. Revenge trade is also present especially if you are facing a losing streak for a while. Take a break then get back in when you think you are ready again…

[B]3.) Beware of Opinion – Especially your Own[/B] – Ha! Who doesn’t have any opinion of some sort? Everyone have an opinion unless you are a dead horse…There was a saying that trade what actually happens, not what you think should happen. The market doesn’t care what people think or expect. Don’t let opinion dictate their trades rather do a rational analysis of what the market was actually doing. The ability to enter and exit the markets must be the result of crystal clear thought process…

[B]4.) Ego and Humility[/B] – I have to quote this one… I think it says it all… [I]“The market is always right. It is in control, not you. Good traders know this and accept it. The downfall of many traders comes when they believe they have a handle on the market and they think they know what it will do next. If you are trading for the satisfaction of being proved right, then be afraid, be very afraid. You might be a super trader in all other respects but, if your ego gets the better of you, likely as not you’ll blow up eventually. The human ego is to traders what Kryptonite is to Superman. You need to have some sort of a dead man’s handle that is tripped the minute your ego gets the upper hand and controls your trading decisions. ”….[/I]…awesome… Next

[B]5.) Patience[/B] – As traders, you will be far better off to do nothing (in action) versus in constant action. The ability to sit on your hands and resist the temptation to take trades that you have no business to be in is a very important trait to master.

[B]6.) Being honest[/B] – [I]“You must be honest with the most important person of all: yourself. Self deception is rife amongst traders. ‘I would have taken that trade if . . .’, ‘I could have taken that trade but . . .’ or ‘I should have taken that trade, but I didn’t because . . .’ Woulda, coulda, shoulda are three words you are well advised to try to delete from your vocabulary. Self deception is especially common when paper trading, which is why some traders don’t like it. ‘With my live account I would have let my profit run and not exited so soon.’ ‘With my live account I wouldn’t have taken that (losing) trade.’ ‘With my live account I wouldn’t have moved my stop loss and risked my entire account on just one trade.’ Yeah right, of course you wouldn’t!”

[/I][B]7.) Self-evaluate[/B] – Do you write a journal about your trades? If so, this will be the best place on how you can evaluate your trades. Find out what is working and what is not and how you can improved on those…

[B]8.) Being consistent[/B] – If you are aiming for 5% ROI a month then try to be consistent on those. Eventually, you can bump it up to 10%, 15 % and so on…Rinse and Repeat. It is easier said than done but it can be done…

[B]9.) Application (can you pull the trigger?)[/B] – Demo trades are so easy to pull the trigger on or placing trades because you know it is not your real money. You do not lose anything…just your time. It is just “paper” or practice trade. Now, when you are actually trading using your Live account is a whole another story because now you are risking your money that supposed to go for rent/mortgage payment (I hope not). When you have this well planned out in your head on how you will place your trade, you still have doubts in your mind whether if it is going in your favor or not. Sometimes, you even doubt yourself and second guess about your analysis. Sometimes the only way to find out is to pull the trigger to see if you are right or wrong. When you are right good. When you are wrong good. Write down why you are right and why you are wrong… pull the trigger and see what happen…hopefully more correct than wrong.

[B]10.) Take responsibility[/B] – Do not blame other people when you lose money (well except when you get scam but still). Admit when you are wrong and moved on. We cannot blame other people for the actions that we make. We cannot blame the market for our losses either. Take responsibility …and don’t drink and drive :wink:

My Reference : FAQ: Nature Vs Nurture – are Good Traders Born or Made?

56

Good stuff here. It’d be cool if you wrote your own reflection on each of these traits to see how you match up.

57

Hi PipNRoll, great post.

Took me a long time to realise that #3 was my bogey - so many trades lost because I was bearish or bullish before the trading day opened.

I’ll quote the legendary Jesse Livermore written shortly before his death:

"I believe that uncontrolled emotions are the deadly enemy of the speculator, hope, fear and greed…waiting on the sidelines, waiting to jump into the action, plough into the game.

This is one of the reasons I never use the words ‘Bullish’ or ‘Bearish’. These words are not in my vocabulary, because I believe these words can create an emotional mind-set of a specific market direction in a speculator’s mind. There is a good chance the speculator will blindly follow trend or direction for an extended period of time, even if the facts change.

When people ask me for a tip … I tell them the line of least resistance is currently up or down as the case may be … and that is all I say.
This leaves me with the flexibility to change my mind, according to market behaviour. I try never to PREDICT or ANTICIPATE the market. I only try to REACT to what the market is trying to tell me by it’s behaviour." End quote.

The caps are Mr Livermore’s, I am thankful for his words and thanks too to PipNRoll.

58

Here’s my 2 cents on luck, I had a business teacher who told me, when I asked about luck. He said think of luck as a draw. The more tickets you have in the draw the better chance to win. A lot of people especially ones with no money, confuse luck with hard work. When I first started my business I was driving a 12 year old Ford SUV. Had holes in the floor, AC never worked, rattled and had a gas/oil smell, it was sort of blue, but if I remember it was more like a rusty blue. Anyway a lot of years later I was in the lobby of this hotel getting ready to check in for this convention, and this guy says to me, must be making money. . . new Mercedes, glad one of us is getting lucky, I said how long we know each other; gotta be over 10 years? He said maybe more, so I said let ask you a question. . .how come everybody remembers the Mercedes; but no one remembers the Ford SUV that started it all.

59

Absolutely! I will get back with you on this.Thanks!

60

Thanks Mr. P!

This list will serve as my guide or checklist. I have been searching and looking for one that I like and I think this one says it all…Hopefully, it will help you too :slight_smile: