I just finished my trading. It didn’t go well. It actually left me in a self-deprecating mood.
Very frustrated. I got about 1/4 of the way through my work, when I felt like just closing my laptop. So, basically JPY is still dropping and JPY crosses are going up.
There was a sign yesterday, but I allowed my desperation to not see it.
I suppose that’s the best way to say it. Or maybe it’s just something that I had to learn. If that’s the case, then it’s a fair mistake.
Right now, I’m just writing through my emotions. I’ll think more logically later. Right now, I’m just venting my frustration. My emotions were somewhere between going back to bed without finishing, and punching my laptop.
I didn’t do either. But that’s how I was feeling. I just took a long break and watched a movie for a bit.
My desperation to not miss out on the eminent reversal didn’t allow me to see that price was likely to keep going up.
I reversed my positions to buy, but now I have a wide SL so the profits will be much much smaller. Two-thirds smaller. That’s a lot.
The good thing is that I’m learning. I took some notes in my little notebook. I think I should make a diagram for myself.
It could be like a ¨if you see this, then go long¨, or ¨if you see this, go short¨. However, I can’t write instructions for every single scenario.
Now, here’s the contradiction. I’ve said that I’ve seen the same patterns over and over in charts. So, if that’s the case (and it is), then why couldn’t I write instructions for such limited scenarios?
Which is it? Limited scenarios, or infinite scenarios?
Limited scenarios. However, the paranoia makes me think there are infinite possibilities. No two consolidation periods are the same. No two trades are exactly the same. (But the signals before the move usually are. It’s the candles in between that offer infinite scenarios, and these mixed candles leading up to the signal are what create confusion for me.)
Why do I say that, yet also say that there are limited entry signals? Because I’m misreading the entry signals in real time. My desperation will see a false entry signal and think ¨Is this it? Is this a signal? Is it about to reverse? Well, what if it does and I miss it? What if tomorrow I see a big candle and I missed it?¨
However, when I backtested, at the beginning and end of swings, I see the same signals. I think my problem is that I’m jumping the gun out of desperation.
I’m still trading what I want, and not what the market is telling me. There are always clues. I just refused to read them as they were. I read them as I wanted to read them.
And it’s frustrating.
To anyone reading this, please just keep in mind that I’m just venting.
What’s frustrating is that I feel like I’m always two or three steps behind what the market is doing. I need to be no more than one step behind. Preferably I’d rather be one step ahead.
If it does X, I’m doing Y, and as a back up I’ll place an order over there. I’m not expecting to be a psychic, but I want to read the clues as I know I can. But read it in real time, not after the fact.
I’m gonna work on that diagram and set some guidelines for myself. I think this will help me remember what I should do.
At times like this, I remind myself that one of my rules is ¨no quitting¨. Stay focused. Stay determined. If I wanna turn the market into an ATM like I know I can, then I can’t keep doing the same thing. My decisions are failing me. I’m failing me. I’m not quitting. I have to stick with it, and make the changes that the market is showing me I have to make.
Right now, is really one of those times that I feel like walking away from trading for a while. But, I’m gonna stay in the fight. I continued reviewing my charts and finished my work.
I really didn’t want to though.
I’m gonna keep studying. I just have to be desperate enough to not be desperate.