Hi Tony, and thanks for that (I was actually hoping that you would see my post and comment).
As far as the trade in question is concerned it really was not an ‘overtrade’ i.e. the lot cost $50 which is nowhere even REMOTELY NEAR what my available capital / margin was and only a small fraction of Wilder’s ‘no more than 15% on any single commodity’ rule i.e. I’m NOT overtrading for my account size not by any means (‘been there, done it, got the t-shirt’ as they say and, of course, have the losses to prove it)!!! It really was just the fact that I could not, for some or the other reason, take the loss and I really don’t have an answer and I know that if I don’t get over this ‘mindset’ I’m going to land up in the same ‘sh*t’ as last time. I DO think it had a lot to do with the fact that up until then, on two of my accounts, I’d had a 100% success rate with the system and perceived my taking this loss as a ‘blemish’ or ‘bad omen’. I know this sounds ABSOLUTELY CRAZY but, like I said, I HAVE to control this ‘mindset’ from NOW otherwise we all know what the content of my future posts is going to be!!!
What I fail to understand is that since the beginning of the month up until this past Monday I have trusted the SI System IMPLICITLY and it has not let me down so WHY did I start to ‘second guess’ it all of a sudden? I don’t have the answer. I KNOW with ANY system there HAS to be losses in order to come out profitable at the end but WHY, ALL OF A SUDDEN, KNOWING ALL OF THIS, did I start my ‘sht’ again? I mean to say: at this point, in SPITE of these ‘issues’, I’m still around 280% up on the capital amount deposited at the beginning of the month when I started trading the SI System on the account in question (can’t give you the exact figure because although I could log in to this account earlier this morning I cannot log in now as I type for some reason) so I should be ‘extatic’ but I’m not as I feel that I have let myself down. I’m ‘beating myself up’ over the answer to this question in the hope that something ‘sinks in’ before tomorrow because I know that I cannot 'fuk up’ again. This is it. Maybe this mindset is a big part of the problem. I don’t know. Comments welcome of course (and appreciated).
Edit:
One thing that comes to mind is that maybe I should get the leverage reduced on this (my main) account (currently 200:1) but, of course, this is a ‘double edged sword’ i.e. I’d NEVER be showing results on this account like I am with a lesser margin percentage. This actually ‘came to light’ yesterday when I was trading the Bovespa i.e. currently on a $50 lot your profit / loss changes in increments of $100’s of USD at a time (it only gets updated every couple of seconds or so or when there has been a certain percentage change in price by the looks of things but fortuanately seems to follow the Dow so I should open with a ‘bang’ on Monday but it’s still seems very risky). Ironically I started trading this yesterday to ‘cover’ the Silver trade which ‘paid off’ this time round but is not ‘sustainable’ I know.