I confess. There are times when I get bored moderating the forums. It’s during the ‘dead’ of the forums. Yes, it happens. Time zones, work schedules or maybe just more interesting things in life pop up, so it’s understandable that forums ‘die’ for a bit. It’s kind of like an episode of Dead Zone when it happens.
So what do I do to kill time? I surf the web and look for something - anything really. I dunno how but I stumbled upon this brilliant and talented guy, Mike Reed. He came up with a list of Flame Warriors for all us who thrive in the interwebs.
I found my top 3 most interesting, or should I say entertaining (to me at least) forum personalities! I swear, these types make my work so much fun!
“The Admin”
Admin is the janitor, the cop, the mayor, the judge and sometimes even the forum doctor who tends to Warriors injured in battle - in other words, Nanny on steroids. Because he runs the forum and sets the rules Admin has the power to pull the plug on any Warrior who gets a little too frisky. Sometimes his efforts are appreciated, but like any authority figure he is also resented - especially by Jerk, Evil Clown, Enfant Provocateur, Ego, Rebel Without a Clue, Yuk Yuk, Troller, and other Warriors who would like to turn the forum into their personal playground. Most Admins are generally fair and even handed, but the adage that absolute power corrupts absolutely is as true on the internet as it is anywhere else, and it is a rare Admin who can resist bringing the hammer down if seriously pressed by a determined foe. Sycophant and other suckups will also attach themselves to a strong Admin to form a defensive perimeter around him, and more often than not Admin’s enemies will be driven off without him ever having to brandish his ax. CAUTION: Admin is the most powerful of all Warriors and drawing him into direct battle invites almost certain defeat. Rebel Leader does pose a limited threat to Admin’s power by fomenting a revolt and causing forum members to jump ship.
What? It’s a joke. I dunno about the other mods but hey, we rock this joint by keeping it clean and safe! Haha! But seriously, here are the types that make me LOL a lot.
“The Troller”
Troller is looking for a response…ANY response, and he will chum the waters with complaints, insults, compliments, and inflammatory tidbits hoping that someone…ANYONE, will take the bait. Generally quite harmless - practices a form of catch and release. Nonetheless, he can upset the delicate ecology of a discussion forum. Once a forum becomes aware of his presence, however, all feeding activity ceases and Troller must move on to more promising waters.
These guys are just dying to fish for your attention that they say the darnedestthings. And for all you guys who actually give in to their child-like behavior? Kudos to you!
“The Godfather”
Forums often contain one or more unacknowledged sub-societies, but everyone except the most clueless know that these groups exist and constantly feel their influence. Such alliances congeal because of similarities in ideas and attitudes, or for the desire for power and influence within the forum. Since human beings are hierarchical creatures each of these little mafias always have a Godfather who is surrounded by a cadre of loyal henchmen. Unlike Rebel Leader, Issues, Furious Typer and other noisy Warriors, Godfather only occasionally deigns to enter into discussions, but when he does everyone listens to him respectfully and his pronouncements have an air of finality. Though Godfather himself never engages in battle, it is commonly understood that his utterances should not be challenged, and when an unsuspecting Newbie or ambitious wannabe mounts a challenge to his authority Godfather’s henchmen viciously silence or drive away the attacker.
Okay, I admit. I’m partial to this. Come on now you guys, it’s the Godfather. I wonder what we mods would be called if the BabyPips.com community were a mafia. Who knows, Pipcrawler might make an offer none of you can’t refuse.
And lastly…
“The Garble”
Garble is a mystery: Is he a foreigner with only tenuous grasp of English? Is he on drugs? Does he suffer a serious mental debility? Is he typing wearing boxing gloves? Garble’s rampant typos, malapropisms and execrable grammar can’t be blamed solely on poor typing skills. Garble is all the more puzzling because if one manages to hack his way through the tangled muddle of his messages a discernable idea will often emerge. For example, in a forum discussion about a painting he might say, “Sorry the picchr the har is wrog. The culir. I liike the lips bot teh Paintng is sucs”. When someone refers to his random capitalization Garble might say something like, “oPS i HITTED THE CAPDLOCK”. Garble drivesGrammarian and Nitpick absolutely nuts, but he disdains all efforts at correction, and if complaints persist he will indignantly sign exit saying, “yuor forum si stupef. bYE!” HINT: Garble may be Net Rat.
Yes, I can see some of you shaking your heads at this. But let me explain first. Everytime you see a Garble around, don’t you find it challenging to figure out what he’s actually trying to say? And don’t you ever wonder what is up with him? (Hopefully it’s not just me!) Trust me; decoding what they’re trying to say is a taxing feat.
I bet you’re wondering which type you fall under. No worries, I have compiled a list of forum types where most BabyPips.com forum characters fall under at least based on my observation.
We, moderators, may not jump in your conversations but we do know you. And yes, we’ve seen all kinds of these Flame Warriors. So I dare you, check the list that I’ve come up with and answer the poll to let us know who you think you are.
I wonder who is brave enough to accept my challenge. I am calling everyone out! We shall see who is man or woman enough to claim who they are in the world of forums. This is the time to claim which Flame Warrior you are!
