I, I have been trading for a couple of years now and have lost a significant amount of money in the process. However, I have, through my losses and my mistakes managed to see how the market moves and also I have formulated a trading strategy that works and is profitable. I will not quit - quitters do not win and winners do not quit ! For the last 2 months I have been profitable and I feel that I have turned my ship around, my gains are small but consistent. I do still have bad trades when I do not stick to my strategy and I try to guess what the market will do ! But I am holding my own and holding on to my capital.
My main problem I find is that the emotions of others have a great impact upon me. I am constantly reminded by my other half that I ‘lost that trade’ ‘didn’t take that great trade’ - ‘haven’t come out very much in profit today or this week’. And it’s getting me down !! Whenever there is any stress in the house, it affects my ability to take those good trades. Because of being constantly reminded of all the losses I’ve had, I am finding it difficult to pull the trigger mostly through fear of not being successful.
Thankfully I read baby pips and read all the other comments that you all put on this forum - together we will make it - the inspiration I receive here is wonderful for me, and so to inspire you too, I hope that my thoughts on the matter of emotions helps, not just me, but you too.
Although, I do not have anyone who will constantly reminded me about my loses or win, I know what mean… I can see that it will drag you back down instead of pushing you up and moved you forward.
What I would do if I am in your shoes and if this is what you really wants to do, I will block everything and everybody out. Meaning I will stop telling them or giving them updates of my loses and or wins. You know when you lose and you know what it feels like emotionally and pschycologically. It would have been different if they will give you a " constructive" criticism of what they think you are doing wrong and why you lose and giving you some pointers or advices on how can you make it better, then I will take that… If they are just nagging you for it and there is nothing that they will say or give you that will help you to become successful at these then you do not need to hear all of that. Moved on and block them out… You don’t need that.
Listen to those who can help you to become successful for any career/ life that they choose and those who are successful themselves. Do not listen to those who wants to fit in to be like " everyone" else because " everyone" else ,more than likely, are stupid and broke…
Goodluck!
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Hi, thanks for the encouragement and I agree that I need to block all negativity out !! I am successful and when I follow the rules of my strategy - I am profitable. When I don’t - I’m not !! That is my own emotions that I need to take control of. Another small problem … I’m a woman, so a lap dancer is not my scene ! Also I’ve been married to my significant other for 25 years and I love him to bits. I know in his own way he’s willing me to succeed and he hasn’t studied trading as much as I have - the other negative in our house is a 14 year old son. Now you understand what I live with !! I think that emotions cause havoc with your trading if you let them. Great advice from you both - I shall endeavour to 1) stick to my trading strategy. 2) ignore the emotions of others. Thanks xx
I totally agree with what PipNRoll said. You should not share any updates about your trading with anyone around you. People who are not traders don’t really understand what you are telling them but still will give you some opinions.
If it is possible for you, when you do trade, or when you are planning your trades, perhaps find a place away from the home, like a library where it is a neutral space, a place where you play no roles. That way you can concentrate on trading and not being a somebody to somebody else.
Secondly, if the family is open to this, you could always sit down with them at an appropriate time, after having set up a context for the meeting, and tell them how their reactions and words affect you. Be prepared to listen to them openly without reprimand for their expression and when they have finished, acknowledged what they have said. Then share with them your side. The primary objective is to create a space of hearing first and foremost, secondary to that is what is being said. When people feel heard, they relax and open.
Though it would be very nice for you to be heard without having to ask, your situation is such that you need to direct the current environment is such a way where you can trade clearly and cleanly. Hence it would benefit you greatly to take the lead as you stand to gain a lot, both on the trading front and a sense of harmony with the family. Best of luck!!!
its better to have a circle of people who are very positive and motivated about trading, somebody’s negative attitude does have a impact on your mind set, its better to avoid such people.
You sweet woman i read your post’s and they are sincere. Most of us who have broke through the 3 year trading experience mark have had to overcome this same adversity you are currently under trial. The best piece of wisdom i can impart to you is to not run from the negativity around you from others but use it to find out more about yourself and build character. Have patience with the loved ones in your household and others outside because they do not and will not understand what it is you are doing. a very wealthy and successful Trader once said whenever he would go to coktail parties and people would ask him what he does for a living he would reply " I’m a leper " because it would be easier for them to understand then if he tried to explain who he is.
Thanks for all your comments. I have spoken to my family and they do understand, however we all realise that if I have had a loosing streak, then my mood is poor and they must feed from this. On the other hand, if I’ve had some good trades, then my mood is better and therefore the mood of the house is better. I guess we all ‘feed’ from each other. We are all trying to consciously be happy together and all realise that each of our moods, good or bad, affects each of us in the house. Not easy with a teenage boy I might add !! As a family, we are all in this together. Trading is a very stressful and emotional job if you let it be and it is difficult to separate it out and control. I have tried not to share too much of this emotion this past few weeks since my first post and if I’ve taken losses, I have put them aside and moved on to the next trade and likewise if I have had a good day, I have tried not let it show. The mood balance in the house has been better. I always had other ‘jobs’ where I left work at the office, and I am trying to do this with my trading now I work from home.
If there is a quarrel in the house for any other reason, as I close my office door each morning I say to myself “I am now at work and I am a trader. My job is to trade and whatever happened yesterday is gone now. I am in control of my destiny”
[QUOTE=“Jcandle;644119”]. a very wealthy and successful Trader once said whenever he would go to coktail parties and people would ask him what he does for a living he would reply " I’m a leper " because it would be easier for them to understand then if he tried to explain who he is.[/QUOTE]
In reply to this, I tell people I am an ‘investment fund manager,’ they seem to understand this better, and it also sounds very professional !!
Ever try putting something on the door like one of those door hangers in a hotel, to let them now that you are “at work” and not to be bothered unless its an emergency?