you know. everyone on this internet site will tell you the exact opposite of what i will tell you now.
you should give up the idea of trading for now. not because i think you are not capable of it or anything but by reading your text it is clearly visible that you are placing a lot of dreams/desires/wishes into the field of trading. you said stressed familiy situation, lack of money etc. trading will not solve this for you, not in the short run and not in the long run.
right now you are sitting home when you can find the time and read books and stuff that is supposed to make you a sucessfull trader. you are putting a lot of time into this, valuable time (and money as well) which cna be put into something else, something which might help you to get out of your situation quicker and in a more reliable way.
you can not start a new adventure/travel before you cleaned out your fridge of frozen stuff that should not unfreze. your life situation might not be the best to start something this new and something this far away from your original occupancy.
in trading/investing you cant generate any sicnificant gain/profits without already having a nice sumof money to back you up, and you can not focus your mind if you dont come from a clean background (without issues in family or money issue).
you know, sometimes the smartest way to not lose a game is by simply not playing the game. (im not implying or saying you are a loser in the trading field or anything, its just a saying)