Fake traders


I’m new here but not to trading. Was a PAN trader for 2 investment banks back in the noughties and quit on my 30th birthday.

Anyway, that aside…I just wanted to bring up a subject.

What are you thoughts on fake traders? i.e. people who seem to know what they’re talking about but haven’t traded a day in their life but yet on here giving out advice to newbies?


You mean you were a casualty of the companies downsizing exercise :slight_smile:

They’re adorable, deserving of all the adulation & plaudits they attract. Their contribution to trading education is admirable & awe inspiring!

What are your thoughts on the cheating, lying, dishonest, bottom feeding scum bags that make up the vast majority of the investment banking industry?

I can’t praise them highly enough. Every street in the country should have at least one.

It was raining cats & dogs last tuesday afternoon & a fake trader knocked my door & pointed out my gutter was leaking. No sooner had I got my coat & hat on he was enthusiastically shinning up a ladder sealant gun in hand, fixing the offending leak & he wouldn’t take so much as a penny for his troubles!!

I won’t hear anything negative said against them.
Marvellous individuals who dispense comfort & joy to one & all both on & off forums!

Here’s his business card if you’re interested

I think they’re the scum of the earth mate. I worked with a few who certainly didn’t deserve their 6 figure bonuses come jan/feb.

Lol, well we have one on this forum using a female pic as his avatar.

I guess my point that I’m trying to make is I know a member on this forum that isn’t who she says she is. This person has no experience of trading whatsoever but is giving out advice and portraying herself as a experienced trader when in fact it couldn’t be further from the truth.

Who are the admins on this forum?

Aaah, well that is indeed a rather tricky & delicate affair.
It might help your cause if you possess photographic evidence of this blatantly fraudulent activity, otherwise the investigative process could be become somewhat protracted.

I can however recommend 2 top flight investigative snoopers to help expose this fraud.
They’re ex-fakers themselves so are conversant with the usual shenanigans.

Let me introduce you to Mehmet Ogilicrap & Top Banana.

Mehmet is a tad accident prone when scaling ladders to clean out gutters, but he’s a wiz when it comes to snooping on suspected transvestites.

Top Banana is however the crème de la crème when it comes to compiling & presenting indefensible evidence!
I’m very confident they’ll uncover your fraudulent faker Mr ex-investment banker, & don’t you doubt it!!

You don’t need accident prone snoopers or protracted investigations coz I’ve solved the mystery. :59:

It’s none other than Lexy McDonald from Monarch of the Glen!!
I used to love watching that programme & she was especially hot hot hot (pheweee)
I wondered what happened to her & now here she is strutting her stuff doling out trading advice like it’s going out of fashion.

I’m going to chase her up on the forum & get her autograph so I can put the signed pic on my bedside cabinet & ensure it’s the last thing I see before drifting contentedly off to dreamland.

Hot dreams coming…….

Hmmmm, just hold your horses there Mr speed bump.

Mehmet & Top Banana will need to verify his/her accent first.
I’m informed they’re quite close to confirming this & Mehmet has his cousin on board due to the fact he possesses an all singing all dancing digital camera & long distance recording equipment!

Banana suspects he/she might well be one these crafty, sneaky Eastern European fakers. They’re incredibly deft where disguises are concerned & well versed in covert forum activity.

Unfortunately Mehmet experienced a small inconvenience earlier (see pic below), falling from his ladder from a fair height whilst attempting to fix said listening bugs to the outside of the suspects 1st floor apartment. Once he’s been successfully discharged from A&E I assure you & Mr ex-investment banker, the job will be back on track.
If indeed it turns out to be Lexy from Glenbogle they will doff their caps to you & waive all fee’s & expenses.

In the meantime please don’t let us deter you from pursuing your objective of obtaining the autograph – just be aware he/she might not be who you’re expecting!

Good grief, that looks particularly nasty. You weren’t joking when you said he’s accident prone.
I hope he makes a speedy recovery & will await your investigative conclusions before bumbling in for an autograph.

Oh I do pray they’re wrong as I’m really excited & looking forward to meeting her.
You never know, if it is indeed the luscious Ms McDonald of Monarch of the Glen I might try chatting her up & see if I manage to get lucky!!! :7:

You guys have had a bit of fun taking the piss out of the situation the past couple days, but in all seriousness chinnynam, who cares?

The scenario & character you’re highlighting plays out regularly over the course of a typical year. The Q&A cycle simply repeats itself over & over again because the types of individuals attracted to this game generally don’t possess the common sense to utilize the search thread/post option. If they did they’d discover existing threads (quite often more than 1) covering virtually all of their queries.

It’s not as though all that well meaning advice is much good anyway. It all looks & sounds great in theory, including all the pretty colored charts adorned with dodgy technical analysis, but when put into practice with live money it’s usually about as much use as a chocolate teapot, evidenced by those who sit on the other side of the broker screens taking & banking the losses from all their lovely bets month after month, year after year…

Instead of discouraging these characters just let them carry on feeding the naïve & impressionable with all that regurgitated tat & encourage the continuous flow of fresh money into the broker coffers.

As with Q&A scenario, retail accounts churn through the system with effortless consistency. Initial excitable enthusiasm eventually turns to harsh reality & despondency & as those accounts dissipate they’re replaced with a fresh batch of eager money determined to win the game.

Rather than shoot that messenger(s), sit back & enjoy the floor show!

Maybe these people lost with their first order and now they take a revenge for this, like “if I can’t have it, no one will” :wink:

I generally think that one should follow one’s own opinion when it comes to trading decisions, not somebody else’s. That way one avoids falling for the “advice” of such people.

They are fake i think.