Finding Financial Freedom: A journal through Forex frustrations

There are two observations I have made since joining the forex fraternity. The first is that I think that it is fair to assume that none of the members on this platform fall into the high echelons of investing as, lets say, Rupert Murdoch or Elon Musk and secondly, we are all here for the exact same reason. To make money.

That being said, the term “to make money” has a different meaning to each and everyone of us. To some it is the temptation to aggressively risk it all on the off-chance that we will hit it big allowing us to rush off in the morning to take ownership of that Lamborghini. Should our risk fail, we top up our accounts and try again and again until we hit it big or lose it all.
To others, the term "to make money, means to survive. I am betting that under the current global, economic conditions that more and more people who venture into trading are here for that purpose alone. To survive.

I, for one, fall into the latter category.

I have been dabbling in forex trading, unsuccessfully, for a while now. A month ago i was ready to go live. Having completed endless hours of strategy testing on demo accounts I felt that it was time. Things were working in my favor. As a last confirmation I opened a new demo account with the intention of trading for one month. A positive growth on the account would be my final confirmation. Things did not go as planned. Everything I had put into practise failed me and to date the demo account is not one that I am proud of.


A drawdown of 48.6% and a total capital loss of 21.52%. I failed at the cardinal rule of trading. I did not protect my capital!!

Now to some of you reading this you will scoff at my foolishness for attempting trading with a small investment of $500 (demo). My take on this is very basic:
I am fortunate that even in the current economic climate I still have full time employment. I have NO provision for retirement or any other means to sustain my family. I have 15 years of employability left until I reach retirement age. I am saving a bit in a normal savings account but am lucky if I get a 12% interest return per year. The short of it all is that if I need to get my forex business off the ground in order to generate a small monthly return in my “twilight years” While practising on the demo account I was able to save a bit here and there and finally have $500 saved that I am going to use to start my live account. If I can’t get it right on a $500 demo how do I hope to get it right on a live account.

What I have learnt over the last couple of weeks is that irrespective of the thousands of opinions, techniques and strategies that are available out there, the only thing that matters is my opinion. I am in charge of how this turns out. I am responsible for profits or losses. I will determine my destiny. Sometimes I sit in front of my terminal for three hours and walk away with a $10 profit. That is OK. Sometimes I walk away with $100. That is awesome. Sometimes I walk away with less than I started with. Take a deep breath. Tomorrow we try again. One thing I have available is time. From the time I get home from work to the time I turn the lights out there is enough time to run a small, profitable business. Will I get rich quick? Never. Will I retire I millionaire? Never. Will I have an extra couple of hundred dollars to afford something nice? I truly hope so.

This “journal” serves no other purpose but to remind me of my thoughts at the time of writing them. A reminder that I am not in it to get rich quick. There will be no in-depth analysis of my strategy or discussions about fundamentals and technicals. Let’s face it, I am no expert at this. Half the time I have to Google what certain terminology means. What I do have is passion. Passion to succeed at this. Passion to provide for my family. Passion to assist others in overcoming their psychological barriers when trading.

There are many like me out there. Give it all you have. Never give up.

REMEMBER: $1 profit is $1 you never had before. Take what the market gives you.

PS: As I end writing this I have just closed my last trade for the day. 4 Hours in front of the computer. 2 Trades. $14 profit. No losses. Tomorrow we do it again.

Until next time. Stay healthy. Stay safe.

It’s a new day.

18:50 and I am ready to start for the day. I am in a good headspace and have done all the checks and balances which have set the tone for the evenings trading. I’ll be trading the opening of the US market and the last 4 hours of the London session.

Yesterday results were positive resulting in a slight improvement in my account.


Here goes everything :slight_smile:

Yes this is how I see it too. There are some weeks I make even less than a dollar but that is less than a dollar better than losing money! :sweat_smile:

I like your journal! Hope you write more about your mental/emotional status when trading, really helps a others especially new traders. :slight_smile:

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@ponponwei Never give up. We might not be experts but trading sensibly can work in our favor. One step at a time. Let’s do this!


Got off work a bit early today so I am able to spend some extra time growing my business.
Last night resulted in an awesome bit of trading. I planned to spend 3-4 hours building my account back up to a zero deficit but in the end only traded for about 25 minutes. Opened 2 XAUUSD trades which resulted in quick profits early in the trade. When the equity jumped I panicked and closed the trades while in profit. Had I taken a deep breath and relaxed both trades would have hit the set TPs. Nonetheless, I’ll take what I am given. So the current account situation is a lot better then it was at the start of the week.


And now to start working on that -8.66% loss.

Fundamentals: Checked
Technicals: Checked
Price action: Checked

Let’s do it.

And then this happened.


Why do I sabotage myself like this? I knew the trades were going against me but yet I moved my SL because I was sure they were going to turn. Juvenile error!!!
And when I lost the first 2 trades I turned to “revenge” trading. As if I had a point to prove.

So know it’s back to the drawing board. I will start at the bottom and work my way back up. One trade at a time. Every dollar counts.

“In order to rise from its own ashes , a Phoenix first must burn.”

So my mourning period is over and I’ve punished myself enough. Time to move on and continue the struggle.

Set up a new demo account today with $500 opening balance.


Once again I will attempt to follow my strategy and to turn the opening balance into a profit. Points to remember:

  1. Do not self-sabotage.

  2. Stick to your plan.

  3. Take what profits the market gives you.

  4. DO NOT tamper with your stop loss. NEVER!!!

My Goal:

If I can turn a profit on the demo account within the next 14 days then I will take the first step in making a partial deposit towards my live account. A continued growth in equity in the demo account by the end of August will confirm that the balance of the live account capital will be deposited. I will start trading the live account with $500 on September 1st.

Here goes nothing :slight_smile:

AN “OK” start on the new demo account. Longest trade 1 hour 4 minutes. Shortest trade 14 minutes.


Had a good run on a XAUUSD trade and the strategy worked. SL and TP set with the trade closing at TP level. I am still trying to make sure that I only do 1 or 2 trades per day. Take longer to wait for guaranteed set-ups. Ensure correct lot sizes are used.

NOTE TO SELF: Just because I win one or two trades in a row is not an invitation to “go-wild”.

Stop while you are ahead.

Tonight is “Babypips Night” so no trading will happen. Need to finish the course.

Happy trading everyone.

The end of the trading week for me. Not a bad start on the new demo account.


R&R ratio is a bit to close for comfort so that will be my focus point next week.

Time for some R&R with the family. Pizza and movie night it is.

Have a great weekend everyone.