Global warming has me terrified. Absolutely terrified!
The whole planet is being burned to a cinder.
This heat is going to destroy every living thing.
As I shovel all this snow, the sweat keeps running down my face.
So, you see? --- even when we're freezing our asses off, global warming is still burning us up!
Algore is right. We're all doomed.
If any of this is confusing to you, just keep telling yourself:
Ice, and snow, and blizzards are NOT cold --- they're HOT --- it's called Global Warming.
Cold and snow roll across the country