Torn between both worlds, money or love?

Beginner Questions Trading Psychology
1

Hey folks!
Just thought i rant here abit.

I basically graduate with a degree and right now im trading full time. I can envision myself being a consistent profitable trader. BUt know what’s holding me back?

It’s damn lonely and i ain’t got a wife and kids to look after. Right now i basically trade 5 days a week during the lodon session.

Im from asia, thus thats afternoon to night for me. If this were to continue, i won’t socialise much and chances of getting hitch is very low.

So im considering forgoin forex for now, get a coporate job, find someone to settle down with before coming back to forex. I don’t know man, im lost seriously.

Its money or love? Damn it.

2

just move to europe and live a “normal” day.

3

if you leave money for love you will be unhappy and you will look back to when you had the chance to make a lot of money… but if you leave love for money you will be unhappy because you make a lot of money without having a real life.
So IMHO you have 2 way, keep them both or leave them both!
I think the most reasonable choice is to keep them both, trying to reduce your daily work by focusing on larger time-frames and opening positions in a long term perspective.
Best of luck!

1 Like
4

Find a trading style that lets you have a life too, would be my advice. One of the principal advantages of currency trading, in my opinion, is that one can make full-time job money while not working full time. For instance, my end of day trading gives me a good income, I could just do that and be ahead. Equally, intraday trading does not mean that one has to be glued to the screen all day. You could trade the first three hours of each day’s London session then stop, that still gives enough moves to make money. I would suggest that if successful intraday trading needs eight hours a day at the screen, five days a week, then the approach needs tweaking, My intraday trading is four mornings a week, Tuesday to Friday, so that is under 15 hours a week total, plus under an hour late in the evening five evenings a week (Sunday to Thursday).

I find plenty of time for romancing and trading to live happily side by side!

ST

5

Thank you all for your replies.
I basically trade inside bars every hour depending on the context of the pair, thus i usually need 5mins every hour to make a decision. The other 55mins im free as well, bored lonely as well.

I’ve tried youtube, TV, books, webinars and what not. But really it’s not helping.
Yes perhaps i will use the higher time frame for my trading when i start work.

Still it’s a tough choice that i’ve to make. I’ve put in so much effort into forex, in fact even more than my degree.
It’s a pity i feel, but i know i’ll be back when i have my kids and family. That’s when i can trade forex from home and have them by my side, i hope for that day to come.

6

Make the money, the Love will find you… Just like trading, when you go look for trade/Love, its usually the wrong move… Let it come to YOU…

I feel like that if you put this much effort as of today, you dont want to lose the current steam you have to this point.

When I started, It was brutal. And I thought about taking time off, even for 1 month, but I just couldnt lose the headroom I had made.

See, Forex or trading is stressful, and if you can dig deep when its at its pinnacle, and tackle it head on, it will make you a better trader in the long run…

IF your running a business, and you start having problems, you just cant shut the place down for 2 months, you lose productivity, customers, and MONEY.

Now, you seem to learn more with a hands on approach, so at this point, its about practice and repetition.

DONT QUIT, DONT TAKE A BREAK, Continue using your alotted time you have available…

When you start having second thoughts, THAT is when you need to re-evaluate yourself, and I think this is where you are right now…

So, its either, stop trading, lose the steam you have right now, come back in 6 months, forget about everything you learned to this point, and back to square 1…

OR

Continue the journey, find MORE passion for Forex, and take that next step…

If you do feel you need time, AT LEAST review a Pair a day for 30 minutes…

Do NOTHING but stare at the movement. 1M TimeFrame, you have to keep this movement fresh in your brain, as often as possible…

Your at a crossroads, But remember this, Women dont like broke dudes, and if your into forex more then what you went to school with, its evident you know in your heart, that degree is not going to get you where you want to be, correct?

Wish you the Best, Bud

7

All the advice above is great. I mean basically your not in a good life to trading balance. This business is always lonely. It comes with the territory. You can either walk away or reevaluate. Move to 4h bars or daily bars, you will find bigger moves there. Or just do the corporate gig. But if trading is truly a passion for you then it will lure you back only you won’t have the time nor opportunity as a cubical jockey to seize it.

8

Stick with trading: with the vast enormity in job variety, there’s has to be people that actually work similar hours to yourself. There’s people that work permanent night-shifts but still end up with a personal/family life out with work.

My advice: Forex is clearly something that you have a passion for & if you’re good at it & can make a living off what you make then stick with trading. However when you’re not trading, you’ve got to get yourself out there. You’ll never find Mrs Right until you’ve gone through a few Miss Wrongs. You must have other interests too, utilise them in your down- time (assuming its not Xbox or something anti-social) & you’ll meet other folk. Friendship & romance will find you mate, just give it a small window to happen.

Good luck!

9

Thanks for the replies folks. I really really appreciate it. It seems that you guys are the ones that truly udnerstands how i feel.
My family says the corporate way is the ‘safer’ way to go, slowly climbing up the ladder with a fix salary month in month out.
But they have no idea the exponential power of trading!

Im seriously torn, i have no idea what i’ll do or what decision i’ll take.
If i could find things to do during the 55mins everyday then hey i won’t feel this ****ty.

But i basically feel damn unproductive during those 55mins, it’s a torture.
True some say i could use more screen time drilling down to the 1min charts, but for me less is better! Basically sticking to my strategy and just executing day in day out.

I’ll keep you guys posted to whatever decision i’ve come acrossed. Thanks once again!
And oh, my exam results are out this friday, wonder which class of honours i’ll get.

1 Like
10

this is a classic trader psych problem, one that must be overcome. just because your not “trading” (which for you in this situation means preparing or entering a position) then you dont feel productive. That is a complete fallacy. First off sitting on your hands is a position. Also those 55 minutes can be used for other things. Research into other trades, homework/analysis of your past trades, developing a new trading system. Or things that are not trading related, pleasure reading, working out, or working on model planes (no idea what hobby you have).

11

Forex is a lot of work up front. But, I have found it gives me such a freedom that the corporate world never offered me. My choice, dial down your system as much as possible now, and allow it room to fit a family at a future time.
I choose Forex hands down, to ultimately give your family a better life as you master it.

12

Dude… If you are bothered by having too much time on your hands (55 mins out of an hour) spend the time learning MQL turn your strategy into an EA or go download FXone trading platform (my fav) and automate using regular spreadsheet language… Even if you don’t automate it, most corporate jobs have enough downtime to allow you the opportunity to check a chart for 5 mins every hour or so… I work full time and have no problems trading while keeping a relationship. Get a smart phone or tablet, more then a few adequate trading platforms that work on those, especially if all you are doing is trading hourly inside bars…

13

Don’t trade everyday?

14

If you go out and get a life and time away from the charts, compulsive searching might only get you a depression. If you find someone and come back to the charts, living 12 hours a day next to each other, it might not work out. Money can buy you a lot of company if that’s enough but i don’t know about this love thing you talk about? It’s way back in the past i remember something about it, i know it hurts more than losing money :stuck_out_tongue:
A maddening dilemma you got going on there, friend, unless you feel like making a wad of cash first, suck out the loneliness and try after that … its maybe best if you really want that you find someone who cares more about the size of your heart than the size of your wallet. You can buy those easily anyway
I’m glad i’m not stuck in that mindstate atm, good luck choosing, it might be the most important decision of your life

15

The best advice I can give you is this…

Change your name!

16

LOL! hahaha

Find a balance between trading and social life. Life without balance is chaotic. Money isn’t the answer to all.

Find the middle ground and you’ll be a lot happier than just having lots of money. It’s just part of the whole thing.

If you focus on money and later on try to meet someone, you’ll end up feeling being loved just because of your money. Find someone now (although you don’t really look for them, they come to you but you have to expose yourself). You’ll feel empty and wished you met someone with forex being out of the context.

I don’t ever tell people I do forex. I try to do other things as well. :slight_smile:

17

This is very hard, I recently made that choice and well, I’m still trading and killing it. I overheard in another language (one I barely understand but I got the full meaning) that the fact that I trade at all hours killed the chance that a girl I liked very, very much would consider being closer to me. It stings, it hurts, and I am kicking myself because the loneliness is almost unbearable; but I have be myself, and I have to do what I love, and most of the time trading is more like playing than working. If you bypass an opportunity for doing what you love, you may end up regretting it and resenting the person that forced you to make that choice. Unless of course, you are only imagining them forcing you to make that choice. This is where communication is key. Sometimes, you [I]can[/I] have both.

Trying to find a balance is very hard, but it’s the sweet spot in life. I hope to one day attain it, but in the meantime, I have to forge ahead and make money; money is not happiness, but it does grant you options that you wouldn’t have without it.

18

Wow thanks fellas.

It’s tought choice no doubt.
The best thing i could hope for now is to get a job and sneakily trade at the same time. hehehehehe.

Perhaps bring in my laptob and hope no one catches me looking at inside bar formations and what not!

And no, not changing my name. Fartist is here to stay! :smiley:

19

I am a full time trader, left my job to do it when I realised that “balance” is the watchword; and not a matter of choosing between life and trading. And I realised this when I stopped daytrading and started looking at daily charts once a day. This takes me only one hour a day and it has allowed me to pursue other passions and to find love. Trading is another aspect of life and not a choice that we have to make at the expense of life!

20

Trade.

Make enough money that you don’t need to trade any more and your problem will be solved. Plus you’ll have your choice of women.