Just basing this off the forum threads I’ve seen, it’s a good mix of people who understand other people and treat others with respect, and also some who don’t seem to have enough empathy or social skills. But I suppose this is something that’s harder to gauge when it’s all online and you don’t see people’s reaction in real life…
i would say that a number of people here above 90% are emotionally out of control.
i would say a very low number would have E.I.
Would you say you’re part of the 90%? Or the other 10%?
ok… i’ll play ball
i think it’s too general a question.
i think if we are talking about emotionally in control, then yes, i would be definitely above 90%
if we are talking about me being emotionally intelligent to the point of understand the emotions of another person
HONESTLY… i would answer like this
maybe i’m a 60% where others might be an 80% i think
mate, i have this conflict when it comes to emotions in other people, some people are just massive whingers and this was covered in your link.
so, i like to assess whether their emotions ARE RELEVANT and worth worrying about to begin with.
Now. if they are worth it, then , yes i would say i can be supportive and sympathetic.
i will also say that after being married for 15 years, i’m smart enough to know that sometimes i don’t get woman (not just my wife, but other woman as well) they think differently and feel differently
so i suppose most of the time i feel that when a person is highly emotional, it’s just something that needs to be ignored and the problem they are experiencing needs to be solved
and I CAN CLEARLY SEE, how thinking this way can cause me to overlook emotions that need attending.
i’d rather overlook an emotion that put up with irrelevant whinging
so… it depends on what specific area of EI we are talking about as to where i think i am.
but i would definitely say i’m high on the scale of controlling my own emotions
as for social compatibility, Probably not so high
but then , the catch 22 is… if i was higher on the social compatibility part of it
i wouldn’t be high on the self control part
I would rather have less stress than be social compatible
simple as that
True. Determining those who have E.I and those who don’t on an online and mediated platform could be tricky. After all, emotions online could be very complicated and easy to misunderstand. (This is one of the reasons why I stick to using my emojis. I mean, at least there’s a way for me to somehow convey my emotions, let people know that I’m happy to have them here, or that I’m disappointed with particular happenings. )
But, I think the nature of Forex makes BP forums (and even other forex forums) even more complicated? Sometimes, I feel like people with emotions are shunned or looked down upon since it’s been said that forex is a tough tough industry. I love the community but it saddens me that there might actually be some people here who think that having E.I. means not being affected by harsh or offensive statements at all, like just taking it all in. [quote=“Martin_K, post:2, topic:133936”]
i would say that a number of people here above 90% are emotionally out of control.
i would say a very low number would have E.I.
Hey Martin! I’m just a bit curious about this. What made you give this percentage? Like, for you, what are the qualities of a member who have emotional intelligence?
I agree. I do get that vibe here. “Oh you gotta have thick skin to be in this game” etc etc. But having that thick skin shouldn’t give people the license to just be rude or insulting to other people they meet in the “real world.”
And this is something that’s already a challenge for online platforms because of the anonymity that it provides. A lot of the negativity you see around here, I often wonder if that’s how they behave in real life or if that’s how they talk to other people.
So you have that challenge but for babypips in particular, the other challenge is that it’s a traders’ industry - all about being tough and being able to handle negative emotions etc etc. which gives them the reason to be rude/offensive in the guise of being honest. I haven’t spent time on other trading forums to see if this is something that happens across the board though.
I just find that trading by itself can already get stressful - why add more toxicity by being harsh to each other?
Excuse me mate… this is simply not acceptable
could you please edit the post before i flag you …
you forgot to put an emoji after the word SADDEN’s
cmon mate… totally unacceptable
what would Jess or Pipstradamus say ?
mate, you wanna get banned or what ,
put the SAD emoji in, so that we know how truly saddened you are
Totally escaped me. It almost felt like it wasn’t me! Hahaha.
i said this because i have observed, not only traders , but people in all walks of life.
they get very emotional about things.
they stress very easily.
when they buy and price goes down , they freak out, at best they worry.
and then you have the people that email me for help (have you see my post recently on that) Holy crap mate.
Stress heads to say the least.
one guys was freaking out because he lost the money on forex that he needed for his father’s cancer operation
another guy told me his mate was contemplating suicide hehe
then 10mins later he says, it’s ok i’ve calmed him down
now… not everyone here is contemplating suicide… sure.
but from what i have seen here, on you tube, in the grapevine etc, People stress over the smallest things and money tends to be a big one they stress over
when money is in question, specifically A LOSS OF IT, people are emotionally out of control
this is why i said what i said.
Yeah… you must have felt like something was missing…huh
sort of like when bart simspon sold his soul to milhouse for $5 hehe
Okay. I’m guilty about this sometimes! Huhuhu. I definitely respect your opinion especially since you’ve been such a big help to a lot of people here, myself included! Plus, you’ve been around here longer. Maybe we could wait a couple more months and reassess? Hahaha
So just going back to purtle’s question, as much as I’d like to give a number, I don’t think I’ve been here long enough to determine that percentage. I know a lot of the other members may not be as active in voicing out their thoughts so really difficult.
for sure and let me address a few other things first and then I’LL GIVE YOU ADVICE ON STRESS MANAGEMENT OK
Give an Emoji at the very least
now back to the stress management thing
HERE IS MY SECRET
LET ME EXPLAIN IT PLAIN AND SIMPLE, and i’ve taught a few people this. and everyone got it
BUT… THERE’S A CATCH
Not everyone can do this (you have to accept that if it’s you)
for some people, NOT STRESSING Creates more stress. if that makes sense.
what i mean is… everyone has COPING STRATEGIES of how to deal with stress, they way some people work though it is they stress through it , and that’s their way of coping and dealing with it .
it’s all they know
so… telling THAT PERSON to not stress is like saying "don’t deal with the problem but expect a solution"
it only causes more stress.
here is how it started for me
as a young boy in high school i stressed a lot (Teen years and all that + Life and all that)
at the time it was the 80’s and Heavy Metal was a release
GOD BLESS METALLICA AND MEGADETH
Sad But True was a song i listened to a lot with a lot of aggression hehe \m/ \m/
Bon Jovi helped a lot as well
so did Kiss. God of Thunder, ACDC was there as well. Led Zep Kashmir was a big one
anyway… METAL RELIEVES STRESS is the lesson here
then a highlighted moment came into my life.
My Chemistry teacher (god bless him) taught me to organize problems into
a) what i can control
b) what i cannot control
and the rule was
I should not stress over the things that i cannot control because stressing doesn’t regain any level of control
also IT’S A MEDICAL FACT that …STRESS DOES NOT DO ANYTHING POSITIVE FOR YOUR BODY
it’s also a fact that… WE CHOOSE TO STRESS it’s literally a choice
so i asked myself this question
"Why do i choose to stress ?"
after a lot of thought, i came to the conclusion of… it’s a habit that is drilled into you as a child.
Everyone does it
and children mimic what elders do , that’s a developmental fact of childhood and childhood development.
ok, so now the question was
is it possible to COMPLETELY GET RID OF STRESS ?
here is how i concluded it
We need to define what we mean by STRESS to begin with , because everyone has a different way of using it .
next fundamentally understand where it comes from…
we have a central nervous system and BECAUSE OF THAT, it is impossible to not FEEL IMPULSE FACTORS
some impulse factors are pleasurable , other’s are stressful
next, STRESS has Varying degrees of amplitude (Power, aka, how much of it there is )
and HERE IN LIES THE ANSWER TO IT ALL
next. so… is that all there is
NO… TIME is a factor
TIME OF EXPOSURE TO THE STRESS FACTOR
if someone shines a bright light in your face for 1 second, you will squint and feel A STRESS FACTOR
if you sit in really hot sun all day long, you will feel stress factors all day long
and when you go home in front of the Air con, you will feel relief from the stress of the heat
now… those are stress factors
but when people say I’M SO STRESSED, they are not talking about that
so… let’s not confuse what we are talking about
so…we conclude that WE MUST FEEL STRESS because of our central nervous system
next, but the Brain is part of the nervous system and the brains job is to PROCESS WHAT THE NERVES GIVE IT
now… before i go ahead
Picture a child … 2 years old. goes to the shop with mum and picks up a chocolate bar.
Mum takes the chocolate bar from the child and puts it back on the shelf.
THE CHILD CRIES
now. forward fast around 20 years
the child is now 22 years old
EXACT SAME SCENARIO
mum puts the chocolate back on the shelf
DOES THE CHILD CRY ?
ANSWER : of course not
QUESTION - WHY NOT ?
ANSWER : Knowledge
EXPLANATION : you see when the child was 2, the child was given a problem to solve that it could not solve , that being , the stress of the separation from the chocolate that gave it pleasure.
THE BRAIN LACKED THE ABILITY TO KNOW HOW TO COPE AND DEAL WITH AND PROCESS THE PROBLEM
so… the child cries
at 22 years old, LIFE has taught the child how to cope with this problem
that’s all life is . it’s a series of problems that we solve
When we can’t solve them WE STRESS because we don’t know how to cope
KNOWLEDGE GIVES US THE MEANS BY WHICH TO COPE
NOW THE BIG ONE
OK, so we will always have something we can’t solve, that’s for certain
does this mean we must always stress
ANSWER : Technically… YES there will always be some degree of it
but, nowhere near what most people think it should be
you see this is where AMPLITUDE AND CHOICE comes into it
- a lot of people tell me, "Martin… you can’t not stress"
mate, that’s absolutely BS, i can assure you .
you can, and it’s a choice
now take this statement "Oh man, that person is totally stressing me out"
NO THEY ARE NOT
what is really happening is …
YOU ARE STRESSING YOURSELF OUT
YOU ARE BLAMING THE OTHER PERSON because you don’t want to blame yourself
this is normal human psychology , nothing wrong with it
it’s how you cope
but understand IT’S A CHOICE
if you must stress, CAN YOU CHOOSE TO LOWER THE AMPLITUDE OF YOUR REACTION
ANSWER : HELL YES YOU CAN… 100% Definitely, you can
and that’s the key to it all
HERE’S HOW YOU DO IT
Step 1. You know how "Little things bug you " but YOU DON’T DEAL WITH THEM because they are small and you figure… oh… don’t worry about it
this is the mistake of most people
Each day , pick on one little thing that bothers you , no matter how small.
and RESOLVE IT COMPLETELY
you will find it will be easy
do this every day and after like a month it will be like breathing, you won’t even think about it, you’ll just notice you have less stress
Step 2. you know how when you totally stress out and you start freaking out or crying.
well. you will also notice that you can’t solve the problem
HERE IS WHY YOU CAN’T
you see, people always say “I’ve over it” when they really are not
but what they really do is… they push it under the rug
Mate… STRESS IS ENERGY… ok (that’s physics)
now. the nature of it is… YOU MUST RELEASE IT
if you don’t, it will explode (Pressure build up)
this is what Crying or yelling is
when you explode YOU LOSE CONTROL OF YOURSELF
and the reason is because your brain takes control and shuts you out so as to release the pressure
YOU ARE JUST ALONG FOR THE RIDE at the point in time, then you regain control
THE REASON YOU CAN’T SOLVE THE PROBLEM IS
because by the time you get to that point, there are like 50 little problems
that require 50 answers
but you are trying to find 1 answer to fix them all… THAT DOESN’T WORK
on an ongoing basis, resolve the little issues that bug you and YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A BUILD UP OF STRESS
you will only have little amounts of stress that are easy to deal with
that’s all it is
if you practice this as i did , you will almost eliminate stress
the stress that people refer to commonly will be gone forever completely
the stress that your body feels (Stress factors) will be there but to a much lesser degree
that’s how it works
i practiced this from the age of 16, for around 8 - 10 years
i now don’t even think about it , i just don’t stress but deal with problems in my own way
NOW THERE IS A CATCH TO DOING THIS
you are going to seem Weird to other people because
- When something happens where (its commonly understood that you should be stressed) you won’t be,
and people might take it offensively that you are not
they might think you don’t care
take funeral’s for example
you won’t cry as much or maybe not at all
some people take it as disrespect, but it’s really processing the emotion in a different way
it doesn’t mean you don’t care
and it’ll feel weird in the beginning, and OF COURSE IT WILL
because, you’ve never done this before, so it’s a foreign thing
BUT, you will get used to it
and it’s a good thing, it’s very healthy
so when it comes to forex
and price goes against you… Assuming you managed your risk, you won’t stress
but, even if you didn’t, you will still understand that even if you blow your account, it’s not the end of the world (unlike that Korean guy)
that bloke killed himself because the stress was so painful that death was more pleasurable
that’s why he did it .
STRESS MANAGEMENT mate… Learn how to do it
Your life will be better
do you understand now…
Why when i’ve said in previous posts that it took me 3 years to learn trading, but i had an advantage.
that was… i didn’t stress, because i learned it when i was 16
i already had a massive lead on most people who start trading
i didn’t stress
i just had to work out how to trade, that was it
that’s the story mate
as detailed as i could make the steps, this was it
I just started to understand one day STRESS IS IRRELEVANT, it does nothing for you
so why have it around
that’s how i did it
i hope it helps you
Interesting question for some there @purtle.
I’ve read your blurb and specifically how "successful business managers have high levels of IE "
Quite what benefits such an attribute would have for a self-employed forex trader, I’d be interested to hear
I did not think about that or analyze it. All of us are different. And there are times when even the most calm person breaks down and can incorrectly express himself.
But this does not mean that this person is bad. Or he does not have enough social skills.
This is a complex question.
I agree with you completely
I’m not even sure it is a question which requires an answer.
To me it is a sign of the “PC” world where we are told to feel ashamed of ourselves for anything from something I am not allowed to say, through something else I am not allowed to mention, to even questioning the ridiculous assertion that we are somehow responsible for cooking the planet by raising the level of CO2 by a stupidly insignificant amount.
All of this by the implied (and often openly stated) threat that if we do not “Shut up”, we will be barred from speaking in the forum (or wherever) at all !
I don’t know what history will refer to this current time as ?
"The SNOWFLAKE generation, who weaponized HYPERSENSITIVITY " Perhaps ?
LOL… Love it
This is true. But I suppose there are others who just seem to constantly be breaking down attacking others or not understanding them.
I agree with this to some extent, just because people nowadays seem so easily offended by the smallest of things.
But also that we’ve never really had this kind of environment before where anyone can say anything, however harsh or ill-mannered. We’re so quick to judge people and say things we don’t truly mean.
Just some thoughts.
Emotional intelligence boo hoo. I total agree with @Falstaff in regard to this generation.
Why do people care so much about what others think of them? Why is it so hard for us to accept our opinions count for nothing? Live life, love your own.
Exactly bloody right… Dead on
Now… why do people not understand this.
Why do they not understand that an insult is meaningless UNLESS YOU GIVE IT MEANING
let’s reference back to the future , shall we
McFly… are you YELLA hehe
Marty Instantly reacts and says…NOOOOOBODY…NOOOOOBODY CALLS ME … YELLA
however if marty had half a brain he would say “Yella… ok… is that the best you could come up with… ok seeya later”
Bob is absolutely right
and… I knew this in Year 8 of all things