Father's day (Uk)

The Lobby
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Good thread, Falstaff…

Sadly the good dads are drowned out by the absent fathers or fathers who just walk out of their kids’ lives…

So every decent, loving father has a system that is disproportionately against them… Just like a black man

is more at risk of being stopped and searched by police while he is walking and minding his own business…,

just like women are less likely to be believed when they make a complaint about rape if the perpetrator is

a ‘well respected’ and privileged man…

There are prejudices and biases against every single sector of society, of different kinds and severity: the

ones against dads are possibly three:

  1. they are incompetent, and they could not possibly truly be looking after their kids on their own;

  2. they would have no idea what to do if they were left on their own with their kids;

  3. they cannot be trusted alone with other people’s kids.

The third type is particularly pernicious, because women are historically not faced with the

‘predator’ prejudice when it comes to children - the majority of child abuse is perpetrated by men, sadly -

so whether it is men in nurseries (non-existent, mythical figures) or in primary schools (a few more, but

still tiny numbers) or child-minders (basically a scary thought to anyone, it seems), the prejudice that they

could not be wanting to spend time with children out of love for their job or for looking after the next generation

is rampant.

As for the other two points in my mini-list, they are less pernicious and certainly they undermine dads’ confidence,

especially single dads, who often do not seek out other dads and just try to deal with everything by themselves,

out of pride or stubbornness, or inability to share with fellow men. However, when confronted with such inanities

I just smile them away and think about how many things I have to get on with as a dad and waste little mental

energy on the prejudices, stereotypes, and tropes that people - a lot of them well-meaning women, sadly - throw

at you without even stopping to think about me as a real person with feelings, pride, and competence as a parent.

Thankfully I meet lots of wonderful people in my walks with my little child, who are very nice to us both and so

I know that the world is ready for stay-at-home dads and it is no longer ‘weird’.

Well, I said my piece!

Away to recharge my batteries.

Good night, all.

Happy trading.

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18

@Falstaff @CoinLady
Thank you both.
I just took the rings and moved them in order to see when is she going to start looking for them.
Sure enough - the next morning.
Long story short - the previous night she was making meatballs and took the rings off so they don’t get filth in them.

Still I’d never take mine off. If I do - it will be once the marriage is over. That said when she doesn’t speak to me about what’s going on with her and doesn’t share what’s bothering her but instead says “Nothing” and then throws a tantrum for no obvious reason that’s when I`m starting to question if this marriage was a good idea.
I would have ended it by now but there’s a 1-year old at home that I do not want to leave without a father.

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Was she like this always ? Or is it just since the child was born ? - Have you looked at the possibility of “post natal depression” mate ? It can be very real.

The little one will always have a father @bradley79 - that will always be YOU ! :relaxed: I don’t know the laws of your country, but you ARE married - that is usually a help when it comes to “Access” arrangements. Although if she plays the “Victim card” and alleges “Physical or emotional Abuse”, then usually “officialdom” will just believe her allegations, even in the face of overwhelming evidence. Men have no defence against “trial by denunciation”

https://www.theepochtimes.com/rape-trial-collapses-after-40000-texts-are-revealed_2389987.html

That woman has never been called to account for her actions and her name has never been released. Clearly it should have been as she represents a very serious danger to ALL men she might come into contact with.

However it does seem the lad IS going to sue the Police - As is Sir Cliff Richard. :sunglasses:

Nobody can really advise you without knowing quite a bit more, but as I said feel free to pm me if you’d like a quiet chat.

atb

F

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Sorry if I am interfering where I dont belong but could that possibly be at the heart of the matter?

The first year with a baby, after the long and emotional time preceding it, is extremely demanding on a woman in many ways.

Apart from the hard work and stresses, some may also feel they have lost their youth and freedom, even their attractiveness. Maybe she is just in need of your reassurances regarding her value and your feelings - or maybe feels, rightly or wrongly, that there is an imbalance in the mutual family workload?

IMHO, when a woman responds with “nothing” it can often mean that they feel they have been neglected or in some way treated unfairly or taken for granted?

Surprise her! :slight_smile:

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Our family home was remote, we had no electricity.

Then one day my dad announced we were to get a generator, there was great excitement when the house was wired and we could press a button and have light.

Even more excitement followed - we got a b&w TV - we all sat enthralled around this little box.

After a time the TV began to malfunction, it had a habit of losing sound, we used to say that it was all picture and no sound.

Soon the excitement had turned to frustration.

After over 40 years of marriage I often think of that little TV. When we have quarreled there can be a period of all picture and no sound, the key for me is to fix the sound as soon as possible, before frustration sets in.

I have found three magic words that have helped me bring the sound back.

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Got myself a Kindle sample of that one! Looks very interesting! And the fact that you said it changed your life… sold!

I read a book once that said the SUREST sign that it’s time to throw in the towel is when you or the other person feels contempt and lack of respect towards the other. If you’re already at this stage, they say no amount of counseling can help.

Reading through @bradley79’s post, perhaps you guys aren’t at that level yet. Maybe @anon46773462 is right, it could be because of the struggles of taking care of a 1 year old…

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[quote=“purtle, post:22, topic:152269”]
Got myself a Kindle sample of that one! Looks very interesting! And the fact that you said it changed your life… sold![/quote]

[quote=“Falstaff, post:22, topic:152269”]
As the maintenance period is waning, we tend to start to see a huge number of “faults” in our partner and grow over time to actively dislike them, often to the stage of “can’t stand to be near them” and “want a swap”.[/quote]

Thank you for your kind comments @purtle :sunglasses:

In honesty, it’s good to see the comments from @anon46773462 and @peterma here. They and I are of a similar generation “pre-divorce” or almost so.

The time I spoke of as “you’ve made your bed - You must lie in it !” era. The fact is that after the descent in “love” from the “Maintenance period” to

If the couple persist for some time, the chart again turns upward and crosses the “X axis neutrality” into a stage of real Love and friendship - much as you might feel towards your children. :relaxed:

There is no doubt in my mind that both are giving their honest real experiences here. @anon46773462 in particular gives some of the underlying reasons why

could be the case - and if it is, then it can be cured with some help.

In mild forms the action Manxx suggests can probably be effective and certainly show an understanding attitude.

However, my experience was somewhat different.

My own “Life Script” was somewhat less benevolent than theirs and my own “games” whilst altruistic (as they appeared to me) - were in many ways self destructive !

I appeared to have a “5 year cycle” and I said "my life is not a Novel - it’s a series of short stories ! "

When on the Holiday I spoke of, I watched some boys diving into the sea off a high rock, whilst I lay on the beach with “my lady” and said “i’m gonna do that” - SO I swam over to them. The rock was high and the dive was steep. and as I stood there, I could hear my Dad saying to me in my head -

"You don’t have to do this ! - What if there is a rock just under the water and you hit it ? " - “Nobody is watching really - you don’t have to do this !”

After reading part of the book, I said (in my head - “Possibly dad - but I see no evidence of any such danger. - I give myself permission - to take that risk !”

You would not believe how proud of myself I was as I swam back with this new found power !

  • and I was in my mid 40’s !

This stuff will help some more than others, but for anyone with young children to rear themselves - it is huge !

My thanks to all threeof you ( & @CoinLady ) for your contributions and I hope we have managed to help the lad towards a resolution between us.

I would really appreciate it if you could all take a look at this other thread

https://forums.babypips.com/t/project-84-wins-7-awards-12-men-kill-themselves-today-in-uk/152491

Which seems to be struggling a bit to “get off the ground” and have a stab at the "Why " of it please .

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Fathers day is a day to show your emotions, feelings, and reapect for your father. We need to respect our parents as much as we can. A father is the most faithful person you habe in your life along with your mother. So, always make them happy!

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Te more I think about your post, the more I like it :relaxed:

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I think father see his shadow in his child as he want him to become like him and make him proud. A father teaches us how to talk, how to walk, how to eat, and how to handle others. My father is my mentor, my teacher, and my everything. I want to make him feel proud!

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Thank you for that post @VarSine I’m sure there were many in the Western world who used to feel that way to and a few perhaps who still do. (the lucky ones)

Yesterday (19th November) was “International Mens Day” - but nobody seemed to notice - I looked at the website, but was rather disappointed about it’s apologetic tone !

http://internationalmensday.com/

An article in the sun said

"This year, the theme for International Men’s Day is positive male role models.

Organisers have cited the effect of the number of children growing up with a suitable male role model and the effect that this could have on the rest of their lives."

  • I’m not sure that was what it was meant to say - I rather think the word “with” should have read “without” !

I then took a look at the Fathers for justice website and found a more realistic attitude ;

" Mission
“By the end of today, another 200 children will have been cruelly separated from their fathers in secret family courts.”
Matt O’Connor, Founder, Fathers4Justice
Fatherlessness is an obscenity. No child should be denied their human right to a father yet nearly 1 in 3 children now lives without a father in the UK – that’s nearly 4 million fatherless children.
_ _
Help us end the cruel & degrading treatment of families by the government. "

https://www.fathers-4-justice.org/

That’s 200 chidren a day being victimised by secret “judgements” of officialdom ! - in the uk alone.

And only 84 men a week commit suicidein the uk !

I wonder why ?

https://forums.babypips.com/t/project-84-wins-7-awards-12-men-kill-themselves-today-in-uk/152491

Today (20th November) Is International childrens day - Another one you will not have heard of !

I wonder how the 4 million children living without fathers in the uk feel about that ?

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Well you’ve heard a little of my experiences in post 1

https://forums.babypips.com/t/fathers-day-uk/152269

Here’s a story from another abused father - who refused to just quietly “Go away and die”

" Our Story
Find out how one man’s experience in the secret family courts led to the creation of Fathers4Justice, one of the world’s leading campaign groups."

https://www.fathers-4-justice.org/about-f4j/our-story/

Fascinating man, with 80,000 families signed up and providing help and advice to other desperate families - even to the likes of Guy Richie in his battle with Madonna !

Amazing journey and well done mate for taking down the “desperate” image and putting up a professional attitude which barring further “Foul Play” by the authorities and others, is bound to succeed.

This little biography is powerful stuff and well worth the read !

I love this advert -

BUS-VISUAL-2
BUS-VISUAL-22362×1670 270 KB

And I quote the website ;

"

You an see why “they” are so damn scared of this man, his partner and their followers. Interestingly 84% of the public actually Agree with his main demand as demonstrated by this You Gov poll !

https://yougov.co.uk/topics/politics/articles-reports/2012/06/13/equal-rights-over-child-custody

Which seems to demonstrate that the law is completely wrong in validating the claims to “victimhood” of a very small minority of vociferous and strident “others” !

Whilst it is easy to see potential advances as small victories the reality is still - as this other picture ;

RANGE-SHOT-ANGLE
RANGE-SHOT-ANGLE1575×1050 93 KB

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Men seem to be making rational choices which are less “Paternal” nowadays !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoXQf2f2Yxo

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MGTOW We’re Calling it :sunglasses:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iE88ep7RFDc

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You are very lucky! :slight_smile:

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Interesting stuff here from Australia - “father’s day” to become “Special person’s day” - There seems to be an influx of pretty women batting for blokes against these toxic feminists !

Well according to Peterson, men have no chance whatever of defending themselves and he called on Real women to defend men against these mad women !

Thanks girls - You’re younger than my daughters - but we, real men, appreciate it no end ! x

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8g1TgaC9vc

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Yes you’re right ! - I can see why you don’t want to be isolated on that “female island” - See my post above and give 'em hell girls ! x

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f4ZJHHx0Qo

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Interesting and informative video - confirming what we already know :smile:

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As we can see - When people speak up for men and boys - They get deleted, demonetised - or deplatformed

Then another one picks up the baton and speaks the truth in his stead

[Edit - coach Greg Adams speaks a lot of sense to young men and helps them to protect and better themselves in a hostile world. This was published TODAY and in spite of the riots arson and violence “Against white racism” - you will note that he says not a single word of racism - the “red-Pilled” members of the human race speak to each other as though race doesn’t matter at all - which to us - it doesn’t !]

FAther’s Day again here in uk

For all you kids with no dads, or dads you aren’t allowed to see - Go find him when you are able to and give him a big hug ! - Girls - don’t deprive your own kids of dads - they won’t like you for it when they grow up x

For all you dads not allowed to see your kids today - I feel for ya lads - stick with it mate - It’s NOT Your fault !

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What a nice thread, thank you :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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